Turq,
Thank you for another excellent post. Some comments below. ________________________________ From: turquoiseb <no_re...@yahoogroups.com> To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Friday, August 5, 2011 4:33:14 AM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Centered In One's I-Am-RIGHTness On another forum, I am watching a bunch of folks who have never really entertained any serious doubts about their teacher, his enlightenment, and his important role in the cosmic significance of the universe encounter former students of the same teacher who have entertained all of these doubts. This can be an unsettling experience. I can almost hear some of them thinking, because I've seen similar thoughts put into words on so many forums where this same meeting of minds has taken place: "How can these guys possibly doubt what is so obviously Truth to me? What is WRONG with them to be able to do that?" This has been a recurring question for me for more than 40 years. Why were some of my peers so certain when all I felt was doubt. After leaving Maharishi I following Krishnamurti for a while till I observed the same disconnect between what K said and the behaviourof those around him. Its taken me many years to understand my doubt is my friend and the teachers that encourage my doubt are the ones I can learn from. I've come to believe that as rational beings-on some level, we're all afraid of death, but to live a happy productive life we have to employ denial techniques to manage our innate (born with) fear of death. I believe certainty is one of the more effective denial techniques we employ. So what I'm wondering in this cafe today is where these thoughts *came from*. Were the people in question born with them, or did they learn to think that way? If the latter, did they learn this way of thinking directly from the teacher they have never been able to even *imagine* having doubts about? And if so, was that because of anything the teacher ever *said* directly, or just in the way he carried himself? Not always, but in many cases I think it starts out rather innocently. The teacher has insight and the student is seeking, but then certainty kicks in and true questioning is discouraged (IE. he's a heavy unstress-er). For both the teacher and the student I know of no drug more effective in alleviating the fear of death than the "certainty" of dogma. I think that a lot of this 'tude is conveyed wordlessly, in the way in which a spiritual teacher "carries himself." I think that this mindset of complete certainty on the part of the students comes from the teacher; *he* is completely certain. He believes his own stories not only to be true, but Truth. There is a powerful charisma in being that certain about one's own stories. Other people can feel your own certainty and, living as they do in a world of uncertainty, they are attracted to the teacher's certainty and wonder how they could get some of it for themselves. The teacher seems to never exhibit any doubts or disbelief in his own stories. He is in a very real sense "centered in his own I-am-RIGHTness." Such teachers often can't even *conceive of* being wrong; if they had the idea or performed the action, it was right. Right on describing it as a story. I think this is the tell. IMO, essential to our humanity to the need for narrative. Its up there with love and sex. Certainty is one of our most powerful myths. Some teachers manipulate this human thirst in the worst of ways, but, IMO, most start out innocently and get drawn into the ignorance of the interaction. The thing is, is it? It's all well and good to commend someone's belief in their own essential RIGHTness 24/7, but what if they're...uh...uh...WRONG? What if they're not really as fully enlightened as they think they are? What if they were...uh...mistaken about that? What if they were equally mistaken about the things they taught being the "highest path?" What if they did a few things while pursuing that path that negatively impacted the lives of others? At this point, is the "good student's" tenacious lack of doubt in everything that the teacher said or did being right...uh...right? Or is it merely a reflection of the stories that the teacher told about himself, stories that might -- if the above paragraph were true -- be based in untruth, and possibly self delusion? I see a value in doubt. My definition of doubt (at least in this particular cafe, at this particular moment) is the process of Stepping Away From The Certainty. I like to (nay, get off on) trying to suss out the underlying unchallenged assumptions that I take for granted when believing the things that I believe, and then challenging them. It's almost like a home-grown Byron Katie thang; I ask myself, "Self, what if this assumption I've been making is not true? What would *my* story, based on the belief this assumption is true, look like if it weren't?" I guess I'm more centered in the I-Am-Simply-Not-In-The-Position-Of-Being-Able-To-Assume-My-Own-RIGHTness mindset. Such a mindset doth not seem to have the same charisma factor as its opposite, the sense of I-Am-RIGHTness. No one is ever likely to glom onto me and follow me as any kind of spiritual teacher, because I don't offer them anything to be certain about. And that leads me to the subject of my next cafe rap... I've come to believe its the more important for the seeker to look fearlessly into themselves, as I feel you're describing above, and embrace doubt for the insight it offers.
