It's simple, it's cheap, and it would both improve the political process and bring dignity to it.
Nose glasses. You know...the kind with big, thick, black frames and with a big, bushy mustache under the bridge. Simply require that any candidate for public office wear nose glasses full-time until the election is over. In every photo, nose glasses. At every speaking engage- ment, nose glasses. On every poster and ad, nose glasses. In every debate, every candidate is wearing nose glasses. I think it would fix almost everything that is currently wrong with politics. Why? Well, have you ever tried to get someone to take you seriously while you were wearing nose glasses? You're up there ranting away a mile a minute, trying to get everyone to CARE about what you're ranting about enough to vote for you, and you look out at the audience and they're all laughing at you because you're doing all this and trying to be all serious *while wearing nose glasses*. Who can possibly take someone seriously who is wearing nose glasses? And if you really ARE a cool candidate, someone who actually is evolved enough and smart enough to deserve to win, when this happens and you find everyone laughing at you, you'll start to laugh at yourself. And that will be the thing that the voters will be looking for, and that will tell them who to vote for. [ The preceding is a paid political message brought to you by There's One Reborn Every Minute, Inc., provider of fine nose glasses and fine politics since 1967. ]
