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Million Dollar Cowboy Guru's * ****************************************** I know you all will like this one As far as I can say To teach a horse these days it seems You really have to pay <G> And not just anyone, who thinks hes right You gotta SELL something to be so bright ! Some books and tapes would be real good A good a start as any Just dont forget to charge those folks a heap, big pretty penny ! My horse and me just dont seem fit, After such a wonderful start To walk and whoa without a fit Just buck, turn, spin and fart ! I heard that I should get some help The INTERNET they say To sign on at a clinic or two But be prepared to pay ! Went there now and that was that Got two at first per day Two seats to watch them start a colt Will ride the very first day ! They couldnt make it easier for me My credit card worked just fine Theres Tellington, Monty, Pat and John All standing there in line Old Monty, he likes to " hook um up " An expression that seems so true But $ 59.99 plus tax JUST to see him move ! ( Hubbys face just turned bright blue ! ) Now Pat, he likes to play those games And you can see him live ! But buy that 12.00 halter of his And you'll spend 105.95 ! Ol' Linda now, shes kind of cute With touching and rubbing and all that But skip that fancy wand of hers Go get yourself a Nerf Bat ! Gwana Pony Boy is out With clinics far and wide He takes his shirt off for most the day He sure has nothing to hide ! Easy on the eyes it seems Leaves nothing left to sell But, boy he sure flew out of there When 30 min. rang that bell ! Now Lyons is my favorite, And the company he keeps Our own McWethy drives with him ! ( He signed my lines for keeps ) At Equitana every year Him and Dave go out back to play He drives those Fjords of Daves, a four ! With no fear, Ive heard Dave say But boy does he endorse alot You cant escape his face Just open up a horsemans rag Hes selling his mommas swamp place ! Took me a day on the INTERNET But boy, I got it done Im headed on the circuit it seems Of gurus, and sales and fun While I was out, just making plans A friend of mine came by Took out my horse and walked a bit He said it sure made time fly ! But, wasnt he just a jerk ? I asked When catching and being led ? Naaaaa was his relpy, that day I just wumped him upside the head ! He calmed right down just long enough To have a little talk He said you seemed so down and out He was trying to just cheer you up He said that he just wants a friend To " whisper " a nighty night He dosnt need those fancy tapes Or wands or whips or toys Just take him out and love him up While you go play with those boys ! Lisa Pedersen