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Original Sender : "M Fahmi Aulia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
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Met weekend :)
*** Jokes begin ***
source: Lupa....;P
Sopir truk, yang kaca depan truknya kotor, beberapa kali hampir menabrak
mobil di depannya sebelum akhirnya polisi menghentikannya.
Polisi: "Apakah tidak lebih baik kalau kaca depan itu kau bersihkan?"
Sopir : "Saya akan merasa lebih baik lagi seandainya kacamata saya tidak
tertinggal di rumah."
***
source: idem...lupa ;P
Pak Panurata agak was-was saat mengamati pertumbuhan anak gadisnya yang
punya selera makan luar biasa. Setiap saat badannya bertambah tambun saja.
Oleh karenanya, suatu hari pak Panurata menasihati sang anak.
"Begini, Nak. Bapak anjurkan agar setiap pagi kamu sarapan bubur saja."
"Baik, Pak. Sarapan buburnya sebelum atau sesudah makan pagi?"
***
source: Daily Jokes
It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and I was beginning my
pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the
clubhouse loudspeaker.
"Would the gentleman on the woman's tee back up to the men's tee please!!"
I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.
Again the announcement, "Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee kindly back up to
the men's tee."
I simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating.
Once more the man yelled, "Would the man on the woman's tee back up to the
men's tee, PLEASE!"
I finally stopped, turned, looked through the clubhouse window directly at
the person with the mike and shouted back,
"Would the person in the clubhouse kindly shut the hell up and let me play
my second shot?"
===
kayaknya yg ini dah pernah, cuman gw lupa,heheh...;P
---
MEN vs WOMEN
MEN AND WOMEN COMPARED NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out
for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If
Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a
$2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average
number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be
able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.
===
Every morning Custer rode through the Indian Reservation on his horse
accompanied by his faithful Indian scout. And every morning as he rode past
the Indian chief he was greeted with the gesture of first a finger raised
vertically - then the finger thrust horizontally.
Eventually Custer said to his scout "I know what the chief means by the
vertical finger, but what's the significance of the horizontal one?".
The scout replied "Chief, him no like your horse either!"
***
source: Larry
CARREFOUR pun MENOLAK Kartu Kredit AMEX
Akhir bulan Maret 2003, Carrefour mengadakan bulan promosi kredit barang
elektronik seperti Televisi, Audio/Video tanpa bunga (0 persen).
Antusias masyarakat sangat besar sekali sehingga antrian pengajuan kredit
harus menunggu 1 minggu lamanya untuk memperoleh persetujuan kredit
tersebut. Kebanyakan para customer yang mengajukan Kredit akan ditanyakan
Kartu Kredit yang dimiliki.
Sampailah Interview pada Kustomer yang memiliki Kartu Kredit AMERICAN
EXPRESS.
Customer: Saya akan mengangsur nya dengan Kartu Kredit.
Carrefour: Tentu..! apa kartu Kredit yang bapak Miliki
Customer: AMEX
Carrefour: Wah tidak bisa Pak ... ada kartu kredit yang lain tidak?
Customer: Loh ada apa Dengan AMEX saya.
Carrefour: Ma'af... Pak...., kita tidak terima amex..karena Carrefour yang
sebagian sahamnya dimiliki oleh Perancis sangat menolak agresi Amerika ke
Irak..
Customer: ...Jadi yang bisa diterima disini kartu kredit apa?????
Carrefour: ....IREX Pak...,
Customer: Loh Kartu Kredit Keluaran Bank Mana itu?
Carrefour: Oh ini kartu kredit baru yang kami dukung... yaitu IRAK
EXPRESS.
***
source: Kusbiyanto
[walo taun baru Kambing sudah lewat tapi cuek aza...Mbeeeeekkkkkkk....]
Ini owe ada sedikit nasehat dan lamalan gelatis buat lu olang semua di taon
Kambing. Kalu bisa, pelhati'in baek2 yaa ...:
Lu olang jangan banyak2 makan kambing guling, ental kena dala tinggi. Kalena
itu, bagi elu olang yang kolestelolnya udah tinggi, sebaiknya banyak2 makan
lumput bial sehat...
Bisnis ada bagus taon ini kalu lu olang dagang sop kaki kambing. Jeloannya
dibikin gule, jual jadi obat kuat (taisennya makan kambing).
Bisnis laennya ialah lu olang bisa buka bioskop yang kalcisnya Ceceng (kelas
kambing), atawa lu dagang kopi (biji kopi 'pan kaya tai-kam)...
Musim keling bakalan panjang woa, itu disebabkan pengaluh kambing yang takut
ael. Bagusnya lu nimbun ael yang banyak dah. Sebisanya mandi jangan seling2,
ael mahal woo...
Taon ini, banyak olang bakal di adu domba. Jadi lu olang kudu lebi ati2,
jangan suka macem2 atawa deket2 sama itu tukang adu. Lu nonton aja juga bisa
kebawa-bawa. Tapi kalu lu kagak punya pilihan, ketimbang lu yang diadu,
mendingan lu yang jadi tukang adu laa.
Kambing item juga taon ini bakalan banyak dicali buat jadi kolban...
Koluptol sepelti Kambing Bandot ada kemungkinan bakalan di sate secala
"Welldone". Wakil2 lakyat yang kaya' Kambing Congek, bakalan digiling masuk
ke pejagalan ...
Shio yang cocok untuk lu olang yang cali patnel bisnis di taon ini:
Kuda, kelbau (makannya sama2 lumput).
Ayam ('pan sate ayam & sate kambing seling akul bedampingan di satu meja dan
didalem pelut)
Akil kata, owe tulut bedo'a buat keselamaten lu olang dan kita semua. Kalo
lu dapet coan yang banyak, lu musti ada bagi2 itu lejeki ke hopeng2.
Kalo lugi telus2an, lu musti coba buat bagi2 angpau untuk buang lu punya
sial...
Haiya.....!!!!!
Kiong Hie, Kiong Hie
...
m'pe Wong Kam Pung
Professional Astrolog Certified
Ijin praktek : No. 234/6969/APTNI
*** End of Jokes ***
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