The stories of Babu and Suresh really touches my heart.. There is so much resemblance between babu and me.. I really appreciate the writings.. This is the reality of every gay person in India.. there is difference between the reality and adjustment to the reality as said by Aditya. Many gay people has adjusted themselves and compromise with the outside world to live a happy life. But they are not totally happy. They have adjusted their lives because they are not conscious about their basic human rights.
In my view Suresh and Babu is more conscious about human rights than the persons who has compromised and adjusted their life with the outside world.. Bapu ________________________________ From: Aditya Bondyopadhyay <adit.b...@gmail.com> To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Sent: Sunday, 7 October 2012 9:52 PM Subject: Re: g_b homosexuality-still-considered-a-crime-in-india/ This is a very good example of how the best of intentions in journalism can lead to the worst of results. I have no doubt that the author of the piece had every intention of being supportive and of showing empathy...but the pre-conceived victimhood that she dumps on India's homosexuals means that she does not even attempt the pretense of finding out an alternate possibility. She chooses the mal-adjusted and the pathological, and makes a story out of it that paints an entire community in colours of pathetic existence. In the process she completely misses the thousands of proud and well adjusted gay men and women who have made a happy life of it in spite of the odds and who do not want to keep themselves mired in pathos and negetivity...This is sad if not silly...but certainly bad journalism On 7 October 2012 15:35, gaybombay <modera...@gaybombay.in> wrote: > >http://www.rediff.com/getahead/slide-show/slide-show-1-specials >-===================================== > >With the age-old Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code curtailed, has the >attitude of Indian society to homosexuals changed? Not much, says Shobha >Warrier, after having spoken to several members of the country's gay community. > >It was during the British rule that Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code >criminalised consensual sexual acts of adults of the same sex in private, >terming it as "against the order of nature". This law continued till December >2002 when New Delhi-based NGO Naz India filed a PIL challenging the Penal >Code. Seven years later, in 2009, the Delhi High Court struck down the >provision holding that "it violated the fundamental right to life and liberty >and the right to equality as guaranteed in the Constitution". > >But Section 377 continues to apply in the case of sex involving minors and >coercive sex. > >With the age-old section curtailed, has the attitude of society to homosexuals >changed? Not much. Except for a few high-profile people coming out in the open >about their sexuality, the lives of ordinary people who are different in their >sexual preference, have not changed a bit. At least that is what those I met >said. > >Their families still do not accept their sexual orientation, to the point of >forcing them to marry and lead a bisexual life. Society ridicules and >humiliates them in such a way that some even contemplate suicide for having >been born different. > >Babu shuffled in his seat and looked suspiciously at the recorder and asked, >"Will you take my photo while I talk?" I had to assure him several times that >it was only a voice recorder and not a camera. Then he looked at the >photographer and asked, "Will he take my photo when I talk?" I had to tell him >again that we would not take his picture without his permission. > >"Sorry. I am scared. I don't want anyone in my family to know that I am a >homosexual. Sometimes, I wonder what kind of life I am leading. I cannot even >openly say what I want in my life. This is like killing my own identity and >living as another person." > >Babu is not only afraid of hurting his family but he knows that if he came out >openly about his sexual orientation, he would be ostracised by society. So, he >lives a life that kills his mind. > >From the age of six itself, Babu was attracted to men. "I felt shy looking at >other boys when young, like a girl, and I got teased badly for that. As I >grew, I felt like looking at handsome men, and when I stare at some of them, >they either physically abuse me or ridicule me. Initially I didn't know why I >felt attracted to men. The kind of torture, humiliation and disgrace I had to >go through all these years cannot be described in words." > >So, Babu immersed himself in studies and performed quite well in all the >examinations. Today, he is doing chartered accountancy after getting a first >class masters degree in commerce, and also working and earning Rs.35,000 a >month. > >But is he a happy 25-year-old? > >"No, I can never be happy in my life. I didn't want to be born like this. Do >you think I would like to be different? But I am what I am, and what can I do >about it? I do not want to hurt my widowed mother, my sister who is married >and my brother. So, I will never tell them that I am gay. I think they suspect >I am not normal but we have never had any discussion on the subject." > >Babu feels the society in which he lives is such that it will never accept a >man who has sex with men. "It is a horrifying thought for the people around >me. I will be ostracised if anyone in my family or neighbourhood comes to know >that I have sex with men." > >Though employed and earning well, Babu contemplates committing suicide when >depressed. "I have asked God, 'Why was I born like this?' I have cried in >front of Him many times. And it is God that gives me strength to pass each >day. I will live for some time to help my family tide over the difficulties >and I am sure one day, I will commit suicide." > >The story of 32-year-old Suresh is even more pathetic. Having had no courage >to disclose his sexual preference to his mother, he agreed to marry and now is >the father of a girl child. "I am a bisexual now. I cannot say how painful it >is to lead such a life." > >He says that there are thousands of people like him in society who are unable >to hurt their families and in turn hurt themselves daily. > >"My wife doesn't know that I go to men to satisfy my desires. You come to the >Koovagam Festival (an annual festival of transgenders and transvestites, which >takes place in Koovagam village in Villupuram, Tamil Nadu) and you will see >thousands of men like me there." > >(Yes, I remembered talking to a few men who were dressed like women in saris >with shockingly colourful lipstick, bindi, bangles etc at Koovagam. They had >told us not to photograph them as they had wives and children at home! ) > >It was at the age of 15 that Suresh knew he was getting attracted to men. >Naturally it was followed by self-denial and withdrawal. "I didn't know why I >was like this. Was it a hormone problem? Even today, I don't know. As I grew >up, I got worried. Though it gave me happiness, it worried me that I was >having sex with other men. For a long time, there was a conflict in my mind >about whether what I was doing was right or wrong. Even today, I do not know >whether it is right." > >Suresh still cannot forget the way he was attacked by some goondas when he was >with a man behind the bushes one night. "I still get the shivers when I think >of that day. I still carry the scar on my hand. I was attacked with knives and >they shouted, 'Are you not ashamed of yourself having sex with men? You are >not a human being but an animal.' And it hurt me badly." > >He says that the only change that has taken place in the last 20 years is that >the police do not now clamp criminal cases on them. "But we are treated as >criminals by both the police and society. There are 70 places in Chennai where >men like us go to have sex, and the police are fully aware of these joints. >Whenever we are spotted, even today the police harass us, scold us and ask us >to disperse. Ten years ago, they used to tease us in very awful language. It >was only because of the campaign against HIV/AIDS that the police have stopped >using such language." > >Suresh also says that people like him are abused, both physically and mentally >by people in their locality. "When I use the term 'abuse', it's not only >verbal. If a man in my locality comes to know about my sexuality, he >blackmails people like me by asking for free sex and money. The culture of our >society is such that I cannot tell them it's my right to be what I am. Even >today, this is the condition of gays in Indian society." > >According to Suresh, in India people from the very rich class and the poor are >more accepting about homosexuality than the middle class. In his case also, he >had no courage to tell his mother and sister that he was a homosexual and that >he could not marry a woman. "My family will never be able to accept it if I >tell them the truth. It will also break their hearts." > >Suresh is waiting for the day society accepts homosexuals "the way cats, dogs, >and birds are also accepted." Today, he says, they face discrimination in >families, society and even in hospitals. > >"Even transgenders have more freedom in this society, but what about us? Why >can't we also be accepted the way they are accepted? Though there are roughly >around one lac homosexuals in Tamil Nadu alone, how many have the courage to >come out in the open and say who they are? Homosexuality is looked at as a >disease by many even today, when way back in 1966 itself, WHO had declared >that its not a disease. I blame society for the pain we are going through and >not accepting us as we are and categorising homosexuality as a crime, disease >and > > -- -- ADITYA BONDYOPADHYAY Development Sector Consultant Advocate (Regd. No. F-218/192 of 1997, Bar Council of W.Bengal, India) Website: http://adityabondyopadhyay.webs.com/ ================================ Notice to all recipients: Communication not intended for you but reaching you inadvertently needs to be treated as confidential and destroyed or deleted immediately. Use of such communication in a manner prejudicial to the interest of Aditya Bondyopadhyay and/or his principals, and/or his clients, and/or his agents respectively, may attract legal proceedings which may be of a civil or criminal nature. Aditya Bondyopadhyay and/or his principals, and/or his clients, and/or his agents respectively cannot be held liable or accountable for any and every communication reaching out through this email account that is an unaltered forward of another communication received by this email account, or a referred source available on the internet and accessible to the public.
