Hi Sanjay, I beg to differ on this subject. You are right to some extent. Let me share one incident of mine and I would request anyone of you to comment to what extent should we apply this ideology. I have a colleague (newly joined) who has this bad habit of burping loudly on and off without seeing anyone around. Now he is proud to do that without feeling apologetic for what he has done. Inspite of my other colleagues and myself enhancing on the manners, he shrugs it off saying, I'm not bothered. Now my question to all of the members including Sanjay :- What do we do with such idiots, we accept them with a smile for whatever they are doing as you say in your article ?? And pls I DON'T NEED ANY DIPLOMATIC ANSWERS. Let me clarify my stand on your article : Sanjay, to an extent you are right, but we need to look upon people who have attitude problems, who are always negative and spread ill-feelings. Inspite of our level best efforts to improve, they will still continue and I'm sure everybody must have encountered such people anywhere in their life. Here do we honestly follow spirituality and that too with a smile. NO, the order of the day is, ignore such characters and move on in life. Now let me tell what has happened with that colleague of mine. After two weeks of interactions, he is now alone with another colleague who is another jerk sharing the same view. Everybody has ignored him. People just smile and say hello to him, but nobody wants to be with him. I would appreciate members coming forward to correct me if I'm going wrong and advise what could be the best way to deal with such complicated situations. Best regards Vivek
--- On Wed, 4/11/09, Sanjay Lulla <sanjay_lulla2...@yahoo.com> wrote: From: Sanjay Lulla <sanjay_lulla2...@yahoo.com> Subject: [hg4] Salt, Pepper and the Spices of Life To: "GI" <gay_ind...@yahoogroups.com>, "CGD" <coolestgaydu...@yahoogroups.com>, "PG" <pak...@yahoogroups.com>, gaypakistanig...@yahoogroups.com, "BD" <bombay-d...@yahoogroups.com>, "GB" <gaybom...@yahoogroups.com>, "G_B" <gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com>, uae...@yahoogroups.com, "GV" <gay_yuva_fo...@yahoogroups.com>, "HGS4" <hindigaysto...@yahoogroups.com> Date: Wednesday, 4 November, 2009, 11:12 AM Please read appplies to us in a great way. Put it up on a non gay forum and was taken ver well little prince-Sanjay N Lulla Salt, Pepper and the Spices of Life You're sitting at a table, having a meal with some friends. Bowls of soup are served to everyone at the table. Before tasting the soup, the person next to you reaches for the salt and pepper, and for the next 20 seconds vigorously shakes into the soup more salt and pepper than you would use in a month. You have a pained look on your face. These thoughts immediately go through your mind: "Why would you put salt and pepper in soup, or on any dish, BEFORE you taste it? How do you know how much to add?" You might also think, "How can someone put so much salt and pepper in their food?" Of course, the roles could be reversed. You might be the one who loves to put a lot of salt and pepper on your food and the person next to you eats the soup without adding salt or pepper. In that case, you think, "How can she eat this bland soup without putting any seasoning in it?" When it comes to salt, pepper, onions, garlic, curry or just about any type of seasoning, we tend to see things only one way - OUR way. It's hard for us to understand how someone could enjoy food when it is not seasoned as we think is appropriate. We cringe when we see someone "overdoing" or "under-doing" the spices. How we season our food is a matter of preference and personal taste. There is no right or wrong way to use seasonings. Furthermore, the way in which another applies salt and pepper does not affect us in any way. They're not putting the salt and pepper in YOUR soup. They are putting the spices in their own soup. Our world is so diverse, and yet it is difficult for us to accept each other's preferences. Often, when we see people doing things we wouldn't do, our mind says: Why aren't they thinking as I think? Why aren't they acting as I would act? Your mind would often have you believe that your way is superior. Your beliefs and habits are shaped by your genetics and your environment. Each person has different genetics and has grown up in an environment that is different than yours. Why expect everyone to come to the same conclusion? Our spiritual growth comes when we learn to accept that others have different preferences, and we honor those preferences. There is no universal religion that everyone will agree to practice. There is no universal political viewpoint that all will accept. There is no one way of raising children that all cultures will agree upon. Marriage customs will vary from culture to culture. Getting people to agree on these issues is like trying to get everyone to use the same amount of salt and pepper on their food. It's not going to happen. The diversity in this world is beautiful and we can open our hearts to it. Within our own country and in our relations with people in other countries, we need to continually remind ourselves that it's perfectly acceptable for people to have preferences. If the other person is not harming us, why can't we just smile and get on with life? The next time you're tempted to judge or criticise the way other people think or act, realize that in most cases, they're just using a different amount of salt or pepper than you would use. Allow them to have their preferences, and there is no need to even consider what YOU would do. Try the new Yahoo! India Homepage. Click here. http://in.yahoo.com/trynew