Hi. I have been a member here for a while and this is my first time posting. I have been reading the posts about what it is to be gay and some of the assumptions that are being debated. I would like to tell you about some of my experiences and thoughts. I hope you appreciate them.
I think most of us find coming to terms with our sexuality a difficult process, which doesn't just end (if we are lucky enough) when we 'come out'(whether that be to ourselves, our friends or even our families). Rather, it is something that we all have to battle with on a day to day basis, throughout our lives. For me it was a difficult process. I was a teenager and I was posed with a difficult question. Do I continue lying to the people around me that I love or do I be truthful to them and risk losing all that I had? It was, as I'm sure you all know, a very miserable situation to be in. After another 3 years of unhappyness and living a lie (and suffering physically and mentally in the process)I decided that I could no longer live the lie of heterosexuality that those around me expected me to fit into. I discovered that I am no different to anyone else around me, only that I had different emotional and sexual needs to them and that I equally deserve to be happy. However, I was so frightened of telling my family I wrote it to them in a letter and ran away from home (I was 17yrs old at the time). I was born into a large (I have 5 brothers and 1 sister) Irish Roman Catholic family. As you can imagine, telling them did not feel like an option. To cut a long story short, they eventually found me and instead of the abuse that I was expecting, they told me that they always knew I was unhappy, that I was distant from them and they could never understand why this was. My mother, and my father for that matter (whom I love very much!) told me that they were more concerned that I was safe and that I was happy. This wasn't easy for them to deal with as they were very old fashioned, but all people can change I guess, and they did. There are a number of things that I have noticed from this thread that distress me to read. It seems that we constantly beat ourselves up about the negative - what we can't do, what we didn't have, how we are deficient in some way. Being gay, bi or whatever isn't something that can be catalogued, boxed up and filed neatly away in the deviant section. Neither is it a disease, to be defined, isolated and cured with drugs, and 'treatment'. It is, simply, life. So, we are here, we can't change that, and life can be what you make of it. I also discovered that trying to fit into someone else's narrow definition of what it is to be a man, was impossible. quite frankly I am not sure that I know what it is to be a man. What I do know however is how to be me. Gay bombay and communities like it seems to me to be the ideal place to relax, be positive, laugh and celebrate being different and feel safe at the same time. I hope that this doesn't sound like I am preaching because that really isn't my intention. I just wanted to share something of myself with you. Pete ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar. Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free! http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/WfTolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info ========================== NEW CLASSIFIEDS SECTION SEEKING FRIENDS? VISIT www.gaybombay.info click on classified section and type your message in the post section once the link opens What's hot? What's not? Where are the LGBT parties being held and when? Click here!! http://calendar.yahoo.com/YYY,04497/srt,0/gaybombaygroup/?v=42&POS= Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
