Political Clichés
Finally, I'd like to thank my wife and family who have stood by me
every step of the way.
He won't back down to the special interest groups.
He's willing to stand up to the Washington bureaucrats.
Are you better off today than you were four years ago?
At the end of the day...
Martial Arts / Kung Fu Clichés
Cop - Putting a siren on top of your unmarked beater car, showing
people your badge, yelling freeze, firing and THEN yelling freeze.
Improvised Weapon Master - Fighting people with chairs / tables /
ladders / garbage can lids / fire hoses.
Ninja - Wearing black
Overused plots:
1.) A human male becomes pregnant.
2.) Earth is threatened by an asteroid, and a space mission is
mounted to save the planet
3.) The rightful monarch or long-lost heir is restored to the throne
Overused settings:
1.) Alien races who differ from us only in skin color and/or
Euphemisms for Stupid People
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
A few peas short of a casserole.
A few planets short of a federation
A room temperature IQ...
All foam, no beer
An experiment in
According to the United States Constitution, it is unlawful to force
to work.
I can't believe that we are going to allow the majority of voters to
influence this legislation.
I wasn't elected to represent my constituents. I was elected to do
what is best for them.
I was misquoted.
It's the
I'd love to but... I have to floss my cat.
I'd love to but... I've dedicated my life to linguini.
I'd love to but... I want to spend more time with my blender.
I'd love to but... The President said he might drop in.
I'd love to but... The man on television told me to say tuned.
I'd love to
how do i post messages wit photos
=
attach them
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I have to floss my cat.
I've dedicated my life to linguini.
I want to spend more time with my blender.
The President said he might drop in.
The man on television told me to say tuned.
I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
It's
I won't be in today. My fish is sick and I need to take it to the
vet.
My neighbor's daughter got a round hair brush stuck in her hair and I
need to help her get it out.
I won't be in today because I have come down with Spring Fever.
I fell off a ladder fixing the roof on my house and I
yesterday i.e. on tuesday september 20 i had posted 7 to 8 mails on
gay_bomaby yahoo groups. but i saw only 1 of my mail today in the mail
list. it was regarding excuses of diet etc
only the topic named excuses of diet was posted today
y this has happened
it was not bad all of the topics
so
But the doughnut was calling my name.
I felt left out because they were eating.
But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.
The kids over seas are starving, so naturally I have to clean my
plate.
I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the so-
called dish, so I
Have you ever had a vacation where everything went wrong? Hear real
life vacation horror stories from other travelers.
It was early 2000 or late 1999. My friend and I were 7. We went on a
trip to Disney World in Florida with our moms. Day #1 - My friend got
sick in the morning before we even
Have you ever had a vacation where everything went wrong? Hear real
life vacation horror stories from other travelers.
I was visiting Florida for spring break with my family, we decided to
drive down to Key Largo ( a 7 hr. drive from where we were staying)
so while we were down there we
Have you ever had a vacation where everything went wrong? Hear real
life vacation horror stories from other travelers.
Last October it was time for my boyfriend of one year and 4 months to
go on the family vacation to Gatlinburg, Tenn. The trip had been
planned for months and everyone was
Top 20 List:
20. Government Organization
19. Alone Together
18. Personal Computer
17. Silent Scream
16. Living Dead
15. Same Difference
14. Taped Live
13. Plastic Glasses
12. Tight Slacks
11. Peace Force
10. Pretty Ugly
9. Head Butt
8. Working Vacation
7. Tax Return
6. Virtual Reality
5.
Have you ever had a vacation where everything went wrong? Hear real
life vacation horror stories from other travelers.
My name is Matt Channing. To abuse an old phrase, If I didn't have
bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all. So anyway, my bad
vacation. When I was 15 my best friend and I
Beware of the following new computer viruses
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS - Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
AIRBAG VIRUS - Can only cause harm if you are a petite computer
operator who sits too close to the screen. Provides a handy ON-OFF
switch in
Why does jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but
when it gels the scent virtually disappears?
Can a unborn baby fart or burp?
If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies
before he can run around the bases, does the home run count?
If a General is a
New Office Slang
==
404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, 404 Not
Found, which means the document requested couldn't be
located. Don't bother asking John. He's 404.
Adminisphere - The rarified organizational layers above the rank and
file that
Tell Us Your Most Embarrassing Story
One day, after I had eaten about two pounds of cherries, I was at Old
Navy and I really had to go the bathroom, but I decided that I was
just going in there to get a dress real quick, so I could wait. But a
few seconds later, when I was trying on the
You Know You're A Cat Person When...
You do not consider an outfit complete without some cat hair.
You believe there is no such thing as a naughty cat.
You decorate your christmas tree with dangly cat toys.
Your neighbors refer to you as the crazy one with all the cats.
You set a place at
You Know You're A Dog Person When...
All dates must pass your dog's inspection
All of your clothes have dog hair on them, even when they come back
from the laundromat or dry cleaners.
You get birthday cards for each of your dogs from family, friends,
and the vet. (Bonus if you keep them on
Chicago: A man was wanted for throwing bricks through jewelry store
windows and making off with the loot. He was arrested last night
after throwing a brick into a Plexiglas window...the brick bounced
back, hit him in the head and knocked him cold until the police got
there.
Portsmouth, RI:
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