Even as homosexuality is coming out of the
closet, male attitudes towards lesbianism remain flaccid
Woman on top might be the favoured position but
two women with each other? Naah, says the Indian male. Even as
homosexuality is slowly coming out of the closet, attitudes towards
lesbianism haven't changed.
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Ishaa Koppikar
and Amrita Arora relive their Girlfriend act for
Bombay Times . Will male attitudes towards lesbians
ever change? |
Even among the champagne-swilling chatterati,
where alternative sexual preferences are greeted with nothing more
than a mwah-mwah, gay frat-bondings are viewed with more acceptance
than lesbian couplings, once you push away the politically correct
veneer that most profess to.
Ad man Prahlad Kakar, never one to mince
words, goes for the jugular: "Most men a lesbian as a threat to
their manhood." Why? "It's simple. Men think like this: here I am,
horny and ready to go — and she decides to choose another woman?" He
puts it down to the rapidly changing profile of women in terms of
personal and professional growth. "Women are modifying their roles
in careers, sexuality and relationships faster than men, who just
can't deal with it."
As for the bourgeoisie, forget about acceptance,
turning a blind eye is more the norm. In India, consensual
same-sex unions are regarded as a crime, according to Section 377 of
the Indian Penal Code. Legalising same-sex marriages in India is a
long way off as the government doesn't even acknowledge same-sex
relationships, say members of the community. Landlords, who normally
shy away from renting flats to unmarried heterosexual couples, have
no such qualms when it comes to two women sharing a flat — primarily
because they don't view them as lesbians.
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'Two women
together are a fantasy for every man — when he sees himself
between them'
-Prahlad Kakar
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"The middle classes are never OK with people
expressing their feelings differently," says model-actor Milind
Soman who adds that he had enough time to adjust to accepting
individuals with different sexual preferences. "It's worse for women
who are regarded as the 'stable' forces of the family and when they
express their sexuality away from the norm, they face tremendous
opposition."
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus,
they could be forgiven for their hostility towards alien invasion,
but cherchez la femme for some more startling facts. Geeta
Kumana, of the Aanchal Trust, recounts instances where even women
have been uncomfortable when they find out she's a lesbian. The
reason being, they still look at the dating game with the
wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am caveman mentality. "They are uncomfortable
because they believe that I would follow the rules of attraction
just like a man would, ie, go after every other woman! That is so
wrong because I would be attracted to a person for a certain reason,
not every woman who walks by," she asserts. Then there are others
who need to address their sexual issues. "Some women are
uncomfortable with lesbians because they too are secretly lesbian
and find it difficult to come out."
But in the midst of all the sh-sh-shushing of
lesbianism, that eternal conundrum still exists. It's Friends
character Joey's not-so-secret dream and every man's fantasy —
two women going at it! Model Upen Patel, who was present at the
Bombay Times photoshoot for this story, admits that watching
girlfriend Amrita Arora and Ishaa Koppikar simulate their sensuous
sorority was "quite a turn-on" — a sentiment echoed by most men.
Why? Not quantum physics, once you understand how the male mind
works, says Prahlad. "Two women together are a fantasy for every man
— when he sees himself in between them!"
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
