Things you don't wanna hear during surgery
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
Bo! Bo! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!!!
Wait a minute; if this is his spleen, then what's
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes
his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean..." she whispers, "I would do... a
Chris returns home from vacation with a severe case of sunburn, so he goes to see his
doctor. After the examination the doctor prescribes calamine lotion and viagra.
Looking a little confused Chris says, "I can understand you prescribing the calamine
lotion, but why the Viagra?"
The doctor say
The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from
elementary, junior high, high school, and college students of USA. As one teacher
noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under
the pressures of time and grades!"
1. Wa
After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following
results on corporate
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the
funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the
ashes.
The first
How do these people survive?
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of
6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half
dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only
ha
An Arizona cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and
roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling,
scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good,
the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "Wha
All his life, Cohen has wanted to own an elegant, made-to-measure hand-tailored suit
with all the exacting details not found in an ordinary off the rack model. But he was
a little guy, not very successful in business, and could never afford one. Later in
life, however, things took a turn for
Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her
husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's
not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace tha
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