Dear All, This is Alan.. I am a gay guy, At the moment in pune, actually from another city..
I had fallen in love with a guy from pune, we had a sweet long distance relation.. but i could not manage my heart and with the restlessness of staying away from him, i came to this city. but i kept mentally torturing him doubting on him everytime and accussing of things he never , made his life miserable.. that he lost that love for me, also left his job and Pune, lost his sleep health, and peace because of my madness.. From things that i did to him, he lost the love and trust he had for me.. Now he will soon be leaving this country for a job abroad, i am very happy for his progress and do pray for him.. He is the most, beautiful person i ever met in my life.. such a wonderful, fogiving and loving heart he has.. Today even after giving him so much of pain, though he doesnt love me now he still forgave me.. calls or mails only sometimes, only because he cares for me as he cares for any other human.. just calls to make sure i am safe, working properly, in good health and prays for me.. I really do not want to trouble him, even a bit anymore.. and am ok even if he stays out of touch... Because he is the only one i ever dreamt of, the only one i loved and will love all my life.. i can never ever think of any other man in my life, not even for sex.. But because of the fights that we had, becuase of my overpossessive ness i had for him.. out of frustration, i got addicted to drinks and smoke and also drugs sometimes.. i potrait to my family i am well and safe and happy.. but the truth is i cant concentrate on my job, i miss him very much, fell too guilty what i did to him, for his losses and just feel like drinking and smoking all day and night.. and recently i have started getting very sick, i am on medication for High blood pressure. as i even dont care to eat a small meal, just eat and junk food i can guulp.. Now since he has left pune already, i do not want to stay in Pune anymore, want to go back to my famil, But because of this addiction, and restlessness i wont be able to live normally, its almost like impossible for me to smile now.. Can anyone please suggest me any trust where i can consult a hypnotherapist, who can treat me to come out of this addictions.. Please some one who knows please try to help me as i am in grat trouble, its like question of my life and death.. Alan
