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Cultural perspectives on the act of addictive
infidelity
I do not want to direct my comments at our friend Jimmy...for with
8000 members I must assume that there are many in GayBombay who share his
beliefs on proper parenting...I will name my icon of 'poor parenting' for the
purpose of this discussion 'Rakesh'...as I have not seen any emails on GayBombay
from any of the Rakeshes out there..
I am saddened to see that even with the anonymity offered us by the
Internet that none of my fellow children-of-Rakeshes have dared to
speak up for us yet..
Several evenings ago I went to the women's speakout at the 'Take Back the
Night' demonstration at Colorado State University...before Leslie Feinberg's
keynote speech..
I was moved to tears many times as timid young women and strong middle aged
ladies stood up in public...many of them for the first time in their lives...and
explained the extremely painful and cruel physical and
psychological treatment they had experienced at the hands of the male
friends and family members they had been brought up to trust..
Seeing women reduced to shaking, crying relics of their usual
day-to-day selves at the mere remembrance of their pasts...I am sure would
have been enough to cause at least one of our Rakeshes...if not to committ
suicide...at least have his testicles cut off..
Possibly, many of my siblings in GayBombay are still in denial of the
inadequate parenting provided to them by their 'randy' dads..
From my personal experience in many countries and on four of the five
continents I would say that Rakesh's behaviour would most probably create the
least amount of outrage in the liberal and conservative, developed countries of
Europe and North America..
In these countries...such as the USA, France and Holland...family services
or the children's welfare departments of the local governments would most
probably seek an injunction denying Rakesh contact with his minor children...and
if it turned out that Rakesh's wife was either complicit with Rakesh in
promoting Rakesh's behaviour...or if she was unable to protect her children from
Rakesh's bad influence...then Rakesh and his wife's children would be removed
from their home and placed in a foster homes...and Family Court would most
probably deny Rakesh and his wife all contact with their children...at
least until Rakesh and his wife had successfully completed a
program of psycho/social rehabilitation..
In backward, rural Latin America, because of the lack of social services
and the baseness of functioning judicial systems. Rakesh might expect
to be summarily executed by members of his community and then buried in a
shallow unmarked grave..
In animist and very traditional coastal West Africa...it would not be
uncommon for Rakesh to be invited to share a wonderful supper with some of his
wife's brothers and male cousins...and then to the make an unfortunate detour
through the teeth of a very happy crocodile in the lagoon on his way home from
the meal..
Now none of these aforementioned actions are predicated on Rakesh's
heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality...but upon his refusal to provide
the appropriate role modeling, guidance and care that society expects from
those who have chosen to maintain or improve the security and happiness of the
society through parenting the next generation..
As I am a visitor from abroad would any of you like to explain to
me India's laws and customs as they pertain to 'randy' dads..
Enough for now...thank you for your attention today...for your homework
please question or expand upon this lecture's ideas as you see fit..
Lecture 2 will be on the topic of 'What is invisible, what is hidden and
what is clear as day...in parenting'
Love you!!
Elizabeth
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