They always ask at the doctor's reception why you are there, and you have to
answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her
what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I know m
- Original Message -
From: Barbara Holland
To: Max Holland
Sent: Tuesday, January 22, 2013 2:56 PM
Subject: Fwd: Gotta read the Bible!
Subject: Fw: Gotta read the Bible!
For those who haven't heard, Washington State just passed two new laws - gay
marriage and legalised
Little Johnny was at the mall with his mother, when a man came walking toward
them. Little Johnny hopped up and down, laughed, pointed, and screamed,
"Mommy! Look at that bowlegged man!"
His mother was so embarrassed. "Johnny, your manners are atrocious! You
need some culture, young man!"
Three bored travelling salesmen were flying in a plane. To add a little excitement to the trip one man dropped out an apple, the second dropped an orange, and the third man dropped a grenade. After the plane landed, the three men were walking down the street. They saw a kid crying and asked him
Guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks i
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fel
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor.At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older
*The traveller knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him
he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female
voice asked what he wanted.
"I want to get screwed," said the man.
"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an init
A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop
and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope and says
to the man, "This scope is so good you can see my house all the way up on that
hill".
The ma n takes a look through the scope and starts
What d'you call two Irish gays?Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick
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There were two little boys sitting on the street corner and one little boy says to the other: "My butt is asleep." The other boy answers, "I know, I just heard it snore."
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A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing, fit to bust. The pharmacist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, if the man returns, to follow h
A guy is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City and he runs into a hooker.He asks, "How much?"She says, "Twenty bucks."He says, "All right!"They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night he runs into the same hooker. They go under the boardwalk, only this time while h
An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used
Two sure ways to spot a REALLY sexy man:
The first is, he has a bad memory.
I forgot the second.
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A cannibal and his son are wandering through the desert and have not eaten in days.
They come upon an oasis and decide to camp in the bushes till someone comes. The next morning they awake to see a beautiful woman bathing in the waterfall.
As the father watches the water cascade off her body
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best lay in town!"
Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, and the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes la
Punishment for Gates:
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (The actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behin
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about
It was a hot day in Minnesota. Helga hung the wash out to dry, put a roast in the oven, then went downstairs to pick up some dry cleaning. "Gootness, it's hot," she mused to herself as she walked down Main street.
She passed by a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?" so she walked in and took a s
Wrong!
Sometimes there is a wet Ass too! ;-)
Smartie
On Tue, 22 Feb 2005 asfan wrote :
A rooster is walking along one day when he comes to a riverbank with a big bag
of cat food beside it. Uninterested in the bag, he looks over to the other side
and sees a huge bag of chicken feed, whic
A rooster is walking along one day when he comes to a riverbank with a big bag of cat food beside it. Uninterested in the bag, he looks over to the other side and sees a huge bag of chicken feed, which instantly makes his mouth water. Beside the bag of feed is a small cat that is hungrily e
Two aliens land their plasmic cosmo craft in Jack and Jill's backyard. They suddenly materialise inside the couple's house and address them: ''We come in peace. We want to find out how you humans reproduce. To make an accurate assessment of your procreation process, we would like to (as you
An elderly woman goes to the doctor complaining of pain and swelling in her stomach. He examines her thoroughly and says, "It is my professional opinion that you are pregnant." She says "That's impossible Doctor - I'm 78 years old and my husband is 84." The doctor says "I'm telling, I know my
British courtesy...
n American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak something
terrible.
After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve
himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business.
Just as he was
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realis
The Madam opened the brothel door to see a frail, elderly gentleman. "Can I help you?"
the madam asked.
"I want Natalie," the old man replied.
"Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..."
"No, I must see Natalie."
Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the ol
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