A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she
wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because, over the years they have
become loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of
course, the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from
The New York Police Department was investigating the mysterious death of a
prominent businessman who had jumped from a window of his 11th-story office..
Jill, his voluptuous private
secretary could offer no explanation for the action but said that her boss had
been acting peculiarly ever since
As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange
buzzing noise coming from within.
Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.
Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you doing?'
The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and
A concerned patient asked the doctor if masturbation is harmful.
Not usually, answered the doctor. Not unless you do it too often.
How about three times a day? the patient asked.
That seems a little excessive. Why don't you get a girlfriend?
Oh,... I already have a girlfriend, the patient replied.
A man was found murdered in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene
found the man face down in his tub. The tub had been filled with milk, and the
deceased had a banana protruding from his buttocks.
Police suspect a cereal killer
Unlimited freedom, unlimited storage. Get it
An elephant asks a camel: Why are your breasts on your back?
That's a strange question, says the camel, from someone whose dick is on his
face
__
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
A plastic surgeon invented a radical new face-lift procedure and was explaining
it to a prospective patient. He told her, I'll install a special screw in the
top of your skull. Your hair will cover it so it will be unnoticed. Whenever
you need a little tuck, we'll just tighten the screw a
There once was a little pink lady. She had a little pink house and a little pink dress and a little pink dog. This lady sold Avon.
One day the lady was walking down a street selling her Avon when she came across a little red house. She pressed the doorbell. In this little red house lived a
A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: How many people here believe in ghosts? About 90 students raise their hands.
Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you
Hung like a HorseOnce a farmer has a horse, who has a very depressing face, so the farmer puts up an ad in local newspaper. "Anybody who makes my horse laugh, gets $10,000". The next day a man comes up to the farm and says" I can do it, just let me be alone with the horse for 5 minutes". The
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section.
You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made byQ-tip. Be very sure that you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed
A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop noise. The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mould, explains the guide. The popping sound
Back in the old Wild West, there were two blonde cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with a Red Indian's head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and says, I hate Indians; last week the
Asfan -
No wonder Argentina could never get its act together...the govt was only paying about 25 pesos a head...and the folks down their never learned the art of dreaming big like us Americans...I mean really really big like we do..
Elizabeth
In a message dated 12/29/2004 6:32:09 AM
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, It's dark in here, isn't it?
Yes, it is, the man
Ode To A Mammogram
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts,
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My
Nice story
asfan [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
A Fishy Story
A man called home to his wife and said, Honey I have been asked to go fishing
up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a
week. This is good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting
A lady approaches her priest and says, Father, I have a problem. I have two female
talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.
What do they say? the priest inquires.
They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'
That's terrible, the priest
Asfan -
A few jokes sent to me by a doctor in Colorado Springs while I am sitting in
cool and breezy Bombay..
I take no responsibility for any of the jokes...feel free to alternate
anybody you want into the starring roles in the jokes..
Love..
Elizabeth
What is a Yankee?
The same as a
An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex
drive.
What about trying Viagra? asks the doctor.
Not a chance, says Mrs.. Murphy. He won't even take an aspirin for a headache.
No problem, replies the doctor. Drop it into his coffee, he won't even taste it.
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