goanet-digest Thursday, April 18 2002 Volume 01 : Number 3850
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In this issue:
[Goanet] First ever All Net-Groups Meet - December 14th 2002 - Part 1
[Goanet] Re: [The Goan Forum d-list] Goan New Zealand Mailing List
[Goanet] First ever All Net-Groups Meet - December 14th 2002 - Part 2
[Goanet] Trees... and all that jazz
See end of digest for information on subscribing/unsusbcribing.
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Date: Thu, 18 Apr 2002 13:39:20 +0530
From: Cecil Pinto <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: [Goanet] First ever All Net-Groups Meet - December 14th 2002 - Part 1
(Presently we are in the foyer below the Menezes Braganza hall in Panjim)
Alister Miranda:(voiceover)
"Ladies and Gentlemen we are gathered here this day to see history in the
making. After months of negotiations, discussions and deliberations we have
all the Goa related Internet discussion groups under one banner to hammer
out a meeting for mutual co-existence. These hallowed halls of Menezes
Braganza, and you, my dear friends, are witnessing an event that will see
generations of Goans all over the world finally drop down their
pants...oops weapons, and embrace each other with love"
Cecil:
"Where did they get this MC from? Could'nt they hire Whoopi Goldberg. She's
definitely funnier. This is Cecil Pinto reporting almost live from Panjim
for Goa-world.net. Today 14th December 2002 will go down in the history
books. The warring between rival groups, that has consumed so much energy
and bandwidth, is finally going to end. I am standing here on the red
carpet laid out below Menezes Braganza Hall with my co-reporter Beatrice.
And there's Desmond on the sound panel. Managed to get most of the family in."
Beatrice:
"Thanks Cecil for that introduction. I would just like to mention at this
point that we have volunteers going around distributing free roses with a
card attached. That card is EXPRESSIONS card. We deliver fresh flowers
anywhere in Goa and....OOOOY! Give me back that mike right now!"
Cecil:
"Will you cut that crap!"
Beatrice:
"Hey! You are the guy who told me to use any opportunity to advertise
EXPRESSIONS."
Cecil:
"Yes I did. But you have to slide it in gently. It should flow as part of
the narrative and not interrupt and be so obvious "
Desmond:
"Hey Dad. Sorry to interrupt. But you're still online"
Cecil:
"Whoops! Ok folks I see a lot of colourful people milling around me. Cross
posters, cress dressers, cross carriers and plain cross people - a
veritable cross-section of the Goan global identity. I recognise only a few
faces. Here comes Gaspar Almeida. Head and shoulders above the rest, Albert
Einstein mustache, and with his bifocals perched on the tip of his nose, as
always. Hello Gaspar!"
Gaspar:
"Hi Cecil. Nice to see you."
Cecil:
"Any particular demands you are going to press for?"
Gaspar:
"Yes! We are requesting that the Government have a special direct flight
from Kuwait to Mapusa for all Bardez people. And cheaper telephone rates
between Goa and Kuwait and..."
Cecil:
"No! No! I mean any demands from the other Internet Groups before you reach
a mutual agreement"
Gaspar:
"Oh that! No! Actually I have no demands but if they have demands then we
will make up some. And if they demand apologies then we will demand
apologies. I will play it by ear."
Cecil:
"Gaspar, and who is this with you."
Gaspar:
"Don't pretend Cecil. This is Ashok Chodankar. You have met him before. He
works in Kuwait with me. Sometimes even sends e-mail to you from my office
PC. Don't you remember delivering those envelopes to his house in Colvale?
And that eyeglass prescription?"
Cecil:
"Sure I remember you Ashok. That last question was just for the audience!"
Beatrice:
"Is'nt that the nice polite journalist guy from Saligao, Frederick
something. Why is he slouching and trying to get past us."
Cecil:
"I have'nt the faintest clue. Why don't you interview him dear?"
Beatrice:
"Hello Frederick! Fred! Sir! Hulooooo!"
Fred: (fuming)
"Whatever you ask, I have no comment to make."
Beatrice:
"What camera do you use to take those wonderful pictures we see on the Net."
Fred:
"Why are you bothered about my cameras? What busines of yours is it? I
never charge for my photos. I give them free."
Beatrice:
"All I wanted to know was what brand and model. Our digital camera is
getting pretty old and we were thinking of buying a better model and I
thought you would be able to give me some advice. You don't have to get so
angry.'
Fred:
"Oh!"
Cecil:
"Sorry for the interruption folks but there seems to be some commotion at
the entrance. There's a whole lot of females dragging a guy in chains.
Hello! Hello! Who is this man?"
Beatrice:
"I hear it's that Santan D'Mello who fraudently killed off A.Veronica on
the Internet"
Cecil:
"And who is this elderly gentleman approaching the women's group. And there
seems to be a whole lot of oddly dressed characters with theatrical makeup
following him."
Beatrice:
"That A.Veronica himself and those are all his Tiatrist friends behind him.
Woweee! This confrontation should be deadly."
A. Veronica:
"Stop! Unchain that man! Right now! He has done me no harm. He was just
joking"
Faceless, featureless, bodyless woman:
"Why should we let him go? After the dastardly thing he did!"
A.Veronica:
"Let she among you, who has never forwarded a joke, cast the first stone"
Cecil:
"This is miraculous. The crowd of women is moving away."
=== continued in Part 2 ====
Greet your loved ones in Goa with flowers!
http://www.goa-world.net/expressions/
EXPRESSIONS - The Flower Shop
World famous all over Goa!
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 18 Apr 2002 14:26:11 +0530 (IST)
From: "Dr. Aureliano Fernandes" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: [Goanet] Re: [The Goan Forum d-list] Goan New Zealand Mailing List
Kindly keep me out of this mailinglist.
thanks,
Dr. AURELIANO FERNANDES
****************************************************************************
On Wed, 17 Apr 2002, Ulysses Menezes - GOA-WORLD wrote:
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------------------------------
Date: Thu, 18 Apr 2002 13:47:28 +0530
From: Cecil Pinto <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: [Goanet] First ever All Net-Groups Meet - December 14th 2002 - Part 2
(continued from Part 1)
=================
Beatrice:
"Why did you describe that woman as faceless, featureless and bodyless?"
Cecil:
"Never 'describe' a woman on these Net groups. All of them will gang up on
you. And call you sexist"
Beatrice:
"Sexy. You? Ha! You have a hope in heaven!"
Cecil:
"Not sexy. SEXIST. Oh forget it!"
Beatrice:
"Cecil! There's your friend Ulysses. Surrounded by people."
Cecil:
"What you mean people? What type people?"
Beatrice:
"People. Women mostly. He seems to be quite a charmer. Handsome definitely!"
Cecil:
"I think he is overweight and could do with some excercise."
Beatrice:
"I think he's just right. Sexy in fact!"
Cecil:
"You find Ulysses sexy?"
Beatrice:
"You men never know what a woman considers sexy."
Cecil:
"Whew! Hey Uly! How's it going man."
Ulysses:
"Hi Cecil. Seen Marlon around? I want to give him something"
Cecil:
"What?"
Ulysses:
"A legal notice and a fat upper lip!"
Cecil:
"But Uly I thought this meeting was about making up?"
Beatrice:
"Who are these thug looking guys all dressed in identical suits?"
Cecil:
"You mean George Pinto?"
Beatrice:
"No! No! George is the guy with the Californian Cowboy hat and the spurs on
his boots. I'm talking about all those suited guys with darkglasses and the
turtleneck sweaters underneath"
Cecil:
"Oh! Those guys. That's the Security detail arranged by Milton."
Beatrice:
"Is it true that Agnelo the 'paclo' USA millionaire is paying for this
entire meet including air tickets for all overseas Goans attending?"
Cecil:
"Hush darling. He's paying for this report too!"
Desmond:
"Dad! You're online"
Cecil:
"Oops! Where were we folks?"
Beatrice:
"Who's that woman in a burkha."
Cecil:
"Burkha? Where?"
Beatrice:
"There. She's getting out of a huge car. She sure looks sexy."
Cecil:
"How can you say that. You can't see anything. Not even her eyes.
Everything is covered by that burkha. Even her face has a veil.....Ooooh!
But wait! Wow! What a walk! Yes! I can see what you mean Beatrice. There's
something sexy about her despite being totally covered. "
Beatrice:
"As a woman I can tell. She's probably one of those super sexy model types
who also has brains. So she covers herself so that males will respect her
only for her brains, and not her looks"
Cecil:
"Bull..If you ask me it's probably some female I know, trying to start a
controversy about her looks. Just ignore her. Bloody Kodakaphobes"
Alister Miranda: (voiceover)
"Ladies and Gentlemen. Please go to the Main Hall where the opening
ceremony is about to begin."
Beatrice:
"How come nobody's moving. If it does'nt start on time then it will end
late and we will not be able to file this report on time. Cecil do something"
Cecil:
"Ladies and gentlemen I'm counting till Ten. Whoever is still here at the
entrance, after that, will be interviewed by me and the interview will be
transmitted almost live.
One.... two .... three...
four.... five...six....seven...."
Beatrice:
"Wow! You sure know how to empty a place soon! Everyone's gone in a mighty
big hurry"
Cecil:
"Now's our chance. Count the money."
Beatrice:
"What money?"
Cecil:
"The money Agnelo gave to Milton to give to me, to warp this report in his
favour. And the money Marlon gave to Eddie to give to you to write in his
favour. And the money Uly gave to Gaspar to give to Desmond...... Whichever
is less will have to be returned. Whichever is more will decide how this
report proceeds."
Desmond:
"Dad! You're still online!"
Cecil:
"OOOOPS! And of course we have reader feedback. That's what finally decides
what I write. See you later folks."
==========
Greet your loved ones in Goa with flowers!
http://www.goa-world.net/expressions/
EXPRESSIONS - The Flower Shop
World famous all over Goa!
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 18 Apr 2002 01:44:23 -0400
From: "M Mascarenhas" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: [Goanet] Trees... and all that jazz
Coma : Margaret Mascarenhas
Well, although the violence continues in Gujarat, March 15th passed us by
here in Goa with no untoward incident---lots of cops everywhere and no
"accidental" torching of mosques or other non-Hindu places of worship (like,
Hi, I lit a candle and, WHOOPS, the church burned down.). Which shows us
that when Parrikar wants to, he can control lumpen elements within the VHP,
the RSS, and the Shiv Sena in Goa. The question is: will he continue to do
so if he manages to form an elected government? (Remember those? The ones
where the people actually vote you into power. It's called democracy.)
On March 17th, those adults still in possession of their souls and an
adequate number of IQ points, gathered in Campal to stand by their trees.
They brought their kids. I was, however, disappointed to see so few people
between the ages of 8 and 30. I hope their absence was due to exam pressure
(although this hasn't prevented any of the boys in my neighborhood from
playing raucous games of cricket on the road, every evening and every
Sunday, including March 17th). I am inclined to conclude that Goa's
highschoolers and college kids are disinterested in any extra-curricular
activity that doesn't involve sports or Channel V.
I doubt I need to spell it out for you, but I will: this means that the
parents and teachers of these kids are not doing their job. They are raising
a generation of environmental illiterates and cultural bimbos. It also means
that NGOs need to focus as much attention on getting their message into the
schools and colleges as they do filing PILs.
At some stage, it seems I got too close to environmental guru, Nandkumar
Kamat. Some guy who thought the guru needed a body guard, slammed his arm
into my solar plexis, and me back about a foot from the imaginary boundary
around NK. When I caught my breath, I observed that Kamat spoke
intelligently, articulately, persuasively and passionately about why trees
are an important, and indeed critical, component of urban living. However, I
must confess that his sudden burst into a self-composed song at the end of
his speech ("I'm a tree, you're a tree, he's a tree, she's a tree" and so
forth) freaked a lot of people out.
Speaking of singing, I went to see Paula Jeanine and her conga at the Kala,
and all I can say is: she ain't Ella or Celia Cruz, or even Pocha, and I don
't see what all the hoopla was about. For Cuban and Brazilian rhythms you
don't need physical beauty, but you do need heat and passion and the ability
to move your body to a primal beat. Paula has a trained voice, but is
excruciatingly stylized, and about as sexy as macaroni and cheese. By
contrast, our guys-George Flying Fingers Fernandes (keyboard), Lester
Goudinho (percussion), and Colin D'Cruz (bass guitar) were brilliant.
Meanwhile, the grapevine whispers are that the Panjim jazz club which was
formed only recently, is already suffering from that chronic Goan malady:
ego politics. So boring.
But back to our physical environment: I want to call your attention to our
latest municipal fiasco: the plan to turn the Panjim municipal garden into
an amusement park with toy trains and fake mountains-arguably the
Municipality's most moronic proposal to date. If you recall, the
Municipality was earlier hell-bent on converting this area into a parking
lot, claiming that it was too congested. So here's my question: Apart from
the fact that this garden is a landmark in our cultural history and one of
the few open spaces left in the city, HOW DOES TURNING IT INTO AN AMUSEMENT
PARK HELP DECONGEST THE AREA??? I'm not kidding; I really want to understand
Municipality logic. Is there any? Or are they just flailing about wildly,
trying to come up with ideas for some greedy contractors to make money at
the expense of the city's heritage and environment? And, if so, why do
citizens of Panjim keep electing people who do not have the city's interest
at heart?
To the people of Panjim: wake up from your coma. This is your city. Reclaim
it, or lose it forever.
------------------------------
End of goanet-digest V1 #3850
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