The moment we are born, we are destined to die but we don’t know when; the only one who knows the secret of our death is the Creator. So, we have to be ready for God’s call at any time.
No power on earth has so far been able to forecast the exact time of death; it is a real mystery; it comes stealthily like a thief. We brag about our wealth, might, status, knowledge, etc., but none of these can help avoid death. We ill-treat our fellowmen, cheat and murder people and escape justice with the help of a criminal advocate but no lawyer on earth can save us from the eternal clutches of death. We are all mortal. None of us can avoid death. Our stay on this planet is purely temporary – we are just guests here.
Today is yours but don’t think that tomorrow also belongs to you; finish what you have on hand today only. While you are on this planet, try to do as much good as possible and earn a good name for yourself. Do not harm and cheat others and leave behind a curse for your children. Keep in mind that the world you live in is a temporary dwelling. When the sun goes down and night falls, think of your death. Once a person retires to bed, he/she is as good as dead; nobody can say that he/she will wake up from his/her sleep next morning. That’s why we have been taught to say the following short prayer before retiring to bed: “Saiba tum pav! Sogllo dis boro dila toxich soglli rat bori dhi ani sokallim uttonk tuzi kurpa dhi.” (Lord, help me! Just as you gave me a good day, please also give me a good night and grant me grace to wake up in the morning.) Similarly, as soon as one wakes up in the morning, he/she says in thanksgiving: “Argam tuka Dhoniam! Soglli rat bori dilea tosoch sogglo dis boro dhi.” (Praise to you Lord! Just as you gave me a good night, please also grant me a good day.)
In the olden days, when a person was about to die, all the family members, neighbors and friends would gather around his/her mat/bed and pray for him/her continuously. Someone would rush to the church and bring a priest to administer “sontesanv” (last rite.) Sometimes a person would go in a coma “ani taka magir kans marunk suru zatalet” (and he/she would then begin the last gasps of his/her life.) At times, these gasps would continue for 1-3 days. If a person was money-greedy, it was believed that he/she would not pass away until there was a contact between him/her and money. So, people would place “chear vo att anneancho xik’ko” (a four or eight anna coin) in a bowl of water and feed him/her that water with a spoon; he/she would immediately breathe his/her last. Sometimes, people placed a coin directly in his/her mouth and made him/her drink the water, and he/she instantly passed away. Surely, the coin must have gotten stuck in his/her throat and caused death but for everyone present he/she died as soon as his/her last wish for money was fulfilled!
Christian life in Goa in the 1950’s was very strict. Anyone who lived an adulterous life would not be given the last rites or buried in the cemetery; they were not even allowed to take the statue of “Saibinn” (Our Lady) in their homes. One of the persons in Gaumvaddy, Anjuna, who belonged to a bhattkar family, lived with one of the female servants. We had an elderly Padr Vigar in Anjuna in the early 1950’s known as “koddkoddo vigar” (vibrating vicar.) He visited the “bhattkar” many times and requested him to marry the girl but he refused. The “bhattkar” fell ill and was on his death bed. The vicar was called to give the last rites to the person. He arrived but refused to give him the last rites. He again pleaded with the “bhattkar” to marry the girl on his death bed but the “bhattkar” was very adamant - he refused. The vicar lastly warned him that when he died he would not give him a Catholic burial. The “bhattkar” died. When his family approached the church to arrange for the funeral, the vicar stuck to his guns and refused to give him a Catholic burial. Being “bhattkars,” the family approached the Bishop who directed the vicar to give the dead person a Catholic burial. The vicar replied back to the Bishop: “I was assigned to this parish to carry out my duties; I have fulfilled my duties. If you don’t agree with my decision, here is my resignation.” Obviously, the Bishop couldn’t accept the resignation. As a result, the person was buried outside the cemetery.
A dying person always has a deep yearning for his/her home where he/she was born or lived. Therefore, he/she always wishes to breathe his/her last in his/her home. My mother, who died of cancer, remained in the Remanso Hospital in Mapusa for about three months. Every day, she would say to me: “Baba, mhaka ghora vor re puta” (my son, please take me home.) When her condition got worse, we decided to take her home. The moment she entered the house, she looked all around and immediately lost consciousness from which she never recovered; she died within three days on January 8, 1970. Even Pope John Paul II preferred to breathe his last in the Vatican because he considered it to be his home.
Once a person is dead, the elderly clean the corpse and dress him/her but before doing so, they place thick cloth padding at his/her rectum and in front (for women) and secure it firmly with a “kashti” (piece of loin) so as to block oozing of fluids from the openings. As for the exterior openings, blood mostly oozes through the nose and it is stopped by placing cotton buds in both the nostrils. As soon as a person dies, anyone who is close to the dead person passes his/her hand over his/her eyelids and closes them, as nobody likes to stare into a dead person’s eyes. If the eyelids are not closed immediately, it is difficult to close them afterwards. Similarly, the chin is immediately pressed and held for a while in order to close the mouth. If the mouth keeps opening, a strip of cloth is tied to the chin and head. Dentures, if any, must be fixed before the mouth is pressed or closed, as the whole body becomes stiff after some time.
The dead person is then dressed up. Infants are dressed in their baptism clothes; adolescents in their confirmation clothes and teenagers in colorful clothes. Newly married women are dressed as brides and so are women who die at the first delivery of a child. A married man is dressed in his “resperachem sut” (wedding suit,) if it is still available and fits him, or else he is dressed in his favorite suit/clothes. In the olden days, elderly women were dressed in a “vol” (pair of dress sheets.) My maternal and paternal grandmothers were dressed in a “vol.” A pair of white socks is worn on both the feet, shoes are put on and a small strip of cloth is tied to both the feet to keep them together. White hand gloves are worn on both the hands which are then joined together with the right thumb over the left and a rosary is placed in folded hands. The dead person is then temporarily placed on a mat on the floor or on a large table in “salan” (entrance room) with his/her head positioned towards the “olotor” (home altar.) A “divli” (small brass lamp) is kept either on the floor or on a stool by the head of the dead person.
One of the relatives/neighbors/friends goes out of the house, snatches a “chuddti” (leaf of a palm tree) from a “kavoto” (young coconut tree,) separates the “ir” (stalk of palm tree) and measures the dead body. A person is then dispatched to a coffin shop to buy a ready made “kax” (coffin made of wooden frame and covered with cloth and gold color paper bordering,) or he places an urgent order for a special coffin if the dead person is extraordinarily tall or fat; he brings the coffin to the dead person’s home. In the olden days, in the absence of transportation, a person was hired to carry a coffin on his head and he walked on foot all the way from Mapusa to Anjuna; a “kaxanv” (coffin made of solid wood) needed two persons to carry it. As the person(s) walked with a “kax/kaxanv” on his/their head, people would look at him/them and say “konn tori mela babddo” (pity, somebody has died!) Most coffin shops in Mapusa were located on the road starting from Benao shop and ending behind the cemetery.
To my knowledge, two persons started selling coffins in Anjuna – (1) Mrs. Sabina D’Souza, colloquially known as “Sobin Mennkarn [she basically dealt in wax candles; hence ‘mennkarn’]” started the sale of coffins in Antonio Brito’s house, presently Nelson’s Bar, in the late 1950’s but it did not last for too long, and (2) Agustinho D’Souza, originally from Khorlim, Mapusa, but married and settled at Pornea Tinttear. He began this business sometime in the late 1960’s and carried on with it through the mid 1970’s.
Just as ‘classes’ were made available by the church for burial of a person in a cemetery, coffins were also available in different categories - we can say almost matching burial classes. To my knowledge, in the 1950’s the cheapest “kax” cost around Rs.100.00 and the cheapest “kaxanv” made of teak wood cost around Rs.800.00. Anyone who was buried in the “kopelmar” (chapel in the cemetery) usually was buried in a “kaxanv.”
Speaking of coffin, I remember a true incident which took place on a highway road in Ponda, Goa, around 30 years ago. Bautist was walking on the road with a coffin on his head when it suddenly started to rain. One of the truck drivers stopped the truck and asked him to get in the back of his truck. Bautist decided to sleep in the coffin with the cover on. After a while, some laborers waved at the truck driver who stopped the truck and asked them to get in the back of the truck as well. Bautist wanted to know if the rain had stopped. So, he slowly lifted the cover of the coffin from inside and stretched out his hand to feel the rain. The moment the laborers saw the hand come out from the coffin, they screamed and jumped out of the running truck into the paddy fields and broke their limbs; one person died on the spot! Thank God the fields were full of water and the ground was soft, otherwise there would have been more deaths. Bautist is still living in Anjuna to tell the tale!
One of the first things that family members did as soon as a person breathed his/her last was to approach their family doctor and obtain a death certificate. A messenger was then sent to notify the ‘Regidor’ (person in charge of a village during the Portuguese regime - now people report deaths to the village Panchayat office) of the person’s death. The same messenger would then proceed to the church along with a death certificate, which was essential because a person who committed suicide would not be given a church burial. The Padr Cur (curate) usually wrote down the details of the deceased and questioned the messenger: “Tumi taka khuimche classin purunk sodtat – kopelmarant, poile classin, dusre classin vo tisre classin? (In which class would you like to intern him/her – in the cemetery chapel, first class, second class or third class?) In the third class there was an extreme corner where the destitute were buried and for whom a “baddeachi kax” (hired coffin) was used. This “kax” was always kept on the funeral carriage in the room at the entrance of the cemetery. The messenger would pass on the family’s instructions to the curate/vicar for internment in a class and fix the funeral timing, which has to be at least 24 hours – this was made compulsory by the Catholic Church because of some incidents where the dead had come back to life! The messenger would pay the curate/vicar for death knells and leave the church.
He would then proceed to chapels in the village, pay money to the person in charge for death knells, inform them of funeral timing and return to the dead person’s house. As soon as death knells rang - “TTANV – TTANV-TTANV,” - parents would send their children to ask the person ringing the bells and they would ask him: “Ghantto konnank gha? Konn mela? (For who are the death knells? Who is dead?) He would answer: “Domnic-acho pai mela” (Domnic’s father died.) Children would continue to ask: “Inter kednam?” (When is the funeral?) He would reply: “Aiz sanje panch horar.” (At five o’clock this evening.) If a person died outside of Goa, his reply to the second question would be: “To Bombaim mela.” (He died in Bombay.) Basically, death knells are for people to pray for the soul of the deceased. So, every time death knells rang, we would say “ek Amchea Bapa ani Noman Mori” (one Our Father and Hail Mary) for the dead person’s soul. Announcements of week’s mind mass, month’s mind mass and a year’s mind mass are also made through death knells. In the 1950’s, a death knell set cost four annas - for one rupee one could ask for four death knell sets. So, one had a choice to go for 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 knell sets; the poor went for one death knell set. In the 1960’s, a death knell set cost eight annas - for one rupee one could ask for two death knell sets; the poor hesitatingly went for one knell set. In the 1970’s a death knell set cost one rupee. It was too much for the poor; so, they passed on the death news by word of mouth. Cost of death knells is an additional income for churches and chapels.
As soon as the funeral timing was fixed, several messengers were dispatched in different directions to inform dear and near ones of the person’s death and the funeral. In the absence of transportation, messengers were dispatched on foot. In the late 1950’s, bicycles were used for the purpose, followed by motorcycles and cars. Today, a single touch on a mobile phone connects you to the whole world!
Once the coffin arrived home, the dead body would be placed in it and kept for viewing. A person would go to a chapel/church and bring “kostixelam” (candle holders) from an altar and place them by the head of the dead. One “banc” (wooden bench) each would be placed on either side of the coffin. Next of kin and close relatives would sit on these benches and pray for the soul of the deceased continuously. Due to extreme heat during the summer, the dead body sometimes showed signs of decomposition and gave out stench. When this happened, people would pour plenty of Eau de Cologne on the dead person’s clothing; as a result, people who came to pay their homage smelt nothing but cologne. They also burned incense to get rid of the smell. In the 1970’s, when ice became available, people kept buckets filled with ice under the table in order to keep the atmosphere in the room cool.
In the past, the dead body was kept for viewing at home only. It would be embalmed either for a week or two weeks depending upon the time needed for the expected relative(s) to reach home. Embalming, a practice that dates back to the Ancient Egyptians, traditionally involves not only the use of oils and herbs to preserve the bodies of their dead, but also the removal of the internal organs. The aim is partly aesthetic and partly to delay physical decay and to stop the spread of infection. Modern undertakers use a technique that involves removing blood and gases from the body and the insertion of a disinfecting fluid, usually through the carotid or femoral artery. I had an opportunity to assist a doctor in such an exercise in Gaumvaddy, Anjuna, in 1980 when one of our young neighbors, Rosy Mascarenhas, died of blue heart; her body had to be preserved until her brother arrived from Hong Kong. My father passed away on April 28, 1983. His body was embalmed and kept at home for 5 days until I reached home. Nowadays, even if a person dies at home, he/she is immediately shifted to a morgue as soon as dressed and the dead body is brought home just before funeral time.
Relatives would sit by the dead body and keep vigil at night in shifts and pray continuously. The wick of the “divli” would be adjusted and oil refilled every now and then. The “divli” usually remained lit under the “olotor” for 9 days and was removed on the 10th day, except when a dead body remained in the house for a longer period.
We cannot avoid death but when it comes, it shatters everyone, especially mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter, son-in-law, daughter-in-law, etc. In the past, each one of the family members wailed and expressed their feelings rhythmically. Below are some of the wailing examples that I witnessed as a young boy, but please do not take them as jokes; they are real facts:
When a wife wailed, she referred to her dead husband as “maim” (mother - remember, in the olden days a wife never called her husband by his name; when she talked about him to others, she referred to him as “amcho” [ours.])
Wailing examples:
“Don vorsanim ek pavtt tum ghora ietalo ghe maim, boreo-boreo saddieo haddtalo ghe maim, mhaka tiatrak ghevun voitalo ghe maim; festank, kazarank ghevun bhonvtalo ghe maim; atam konn mhaka bonvddaitolo ghe maim, maim, maim.” (You would come home once in two years; you would bring me good saris; you would take me to tiatr; you would take me to feasts and weddings; who will now take me around my mother, mother, mother!)
“Utton polle ghe maim; poder eila munge maim; atam sokallim fuddem poderacho horn aikon pao haddunk bhair konn voitolo ghe maim, maim, maim! (Get up and see, the baker has come; who will now go out at the sound of baker’s horn and fetch bread from him my mother, mother, mother!)
Narl paddpi Bitting eila polle ghe maim; atam narl konn ekttaim kortolo ghe maim; narl ghoran konn haddtolo ghe maim, maim, maim!” (Look, coconut plucker, Bitting, has come; who will now gather the fallen coconuts and who will bring them into the house my mother, mother, mother!)
“Bokddeankar Joao dudh geun eila polle ghe maim; atam tachea hatantlem dudh konn getolo ghe maim; taka khobro konn sangtolo ghe maim, maim, maim!” (John, the goat owner, has come with milk; who will now collect milk from him, and who will chat with him, my mother, mother, mother!)
“Utton polle ghe maim; Bostian sezarn eilea munge maim; tem sodanch tuka tras ditalem munge maim; atam tem konnam lagim zogoddtelem ghe maim, maim, maim! (Get up and see my mother; neighbor Sebastiana has come my mother; she always troubled you my mother; who will she fight with now my mother, mother, mother!)
When a grown up son died, a mother would express her feelings thus: “Khuim voitai re mojea puta? Atam amkam konn postolo re mojea puta? Ghorachi chavi sanddli re mojea puta! Deva lagim borem magon dadd re mojea puta, puta, puta!” (Where are you going my son? Who is going to support us now my son? We have lost the house key my son! Pray to God and send us your blessings my son, son, son!)
A sister would express her feelings for her dead brother thus: “Amkam sanddun khuim voitai re mojea bhava; atam bhurgim konnank ‘mama’ mhunttelint re mojea bhava; atam konn tanche lagim khelltolo re mojea bhava, bhava, bhava?” (Where are you going by leaving us my brother? The children, who are they going to call ‘mama’ (maternal uncle) now my brother? Who will they play with now my brother, brother, brother!
The wailing would continue in intervals. The woman sitting next to the main mourner would whisper in her ears whenever an important relative or friend arrived. The mourner would then suddenly burst into cries and wail:
“Utton polle ghe maim/puta/dhuve, adi – Saxtti thaun Dinis eila ghe maim/puta/dhuve, adi; tujea gostache morieche solaie haddleat munge maim/puta/dhuve, adi; atam konn amkam Saxtti vortolo ghe maim, maim, maim/puta, puta, puta/dhuve, dhuve, dhuve, adi.” (Get up and see my mother/son/daughter, etc. – Dennis has come from Salcete my mother/son/daughter, etc., he has brought your favorite shark salt fish my mother/son/daughter, etc., who will now take us to Salcete my mother, mother, mother/son, son, son/daughter, daughter, daughter, etc.)
Many women “jintt ievun poddtaleot” (would faint and pass out.) Someone would immediately get a glass of water and sprinkle it on her face. In the meantime, another person would rush to the kitchen, fetch an onion, crush it with a “fatnincho fator,” hold it close to the nose and make the person smell it. If she did not come back to her senses, they would rub salt on her feet. The rubbing tickles and brings back the person to her senses. If all efforts failed, a doctor would be called.
Some men also wailed, beat their chests and pulled their hair in desperation. A loving husband would refer to his dead wife as “bushea” (darling) and wail thus:
“Mhaka sanddun khuim voitai mojea bushea; atam konn moji poramos kortolo mojea bushea; konn mhaka jevonn bhoroitolo mojea bushea; mhaka sandun vochonaka mojea bushea, bushea, bushea!” (Where are you going by leaving me my darling; who will now take care of me my darling; who will now feed me my darling; don’t leave me and go away my darling, darling, darling!)
If anyone had done anything wrong to the dead, the person(s) had better not attend the funeral or else he/she would have to face the music, as they say, because the moment the dead person’s family members would see him/her, they would bombard him/her with their taunting missiles and make him/her run away.
During the Portuguese regime, the “bhattkars” considered themselves superior to everybody. When a “bhattkar vo bhattkarn” (landlord or landlady) died, the next of kin would mourn but they would not demonstrate their feelings to the public; “te/tim bhitorlea bhitor suskar soddun roddtalet/roddtalint” (they would sob and cry from within.) They would summon their tenants and ask them to cry for their dead, or they would hire women to cry at their funerals. In such a case, they would brief/tutor the hired women on the background of the dead “bhattkar” and ask them to wail accordingly.
…………… to be continued ……………
Moi-mogan, Domnic Fernandes Anjuna/Dhahran, KSA
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