*LONG READ*
>"It is a lonely feeling to know that your country’s leaders do not want
you. To be vilified because you are a Muslim in what is now a largely
Hindu-first India."

>"It colors everything. Friends, dear for decades, change. Neighbors hold
back from neighborly gestures — no longer joining in celebrations, or
knocking to inquire in moments of pain."

>"He [Ziya Us Salam, 53, a writer who lives on the outskirts of Delhi] is
old enough to remember when coexistence was largely the norm in an
enormously diverse India, and he does not want to add to the country’s
increasing segregation."

>"In the state of Tamil Nadu, often-bickering political parties are united
in protecting secularism and in focusing on economic well-being. Its chief
minister, M.K. Stalin, is a declared atheist."

>"A place [Delhi] where prejudice has become so routine that even a
friendship of 26 years can be sundered as a result."
----------------------------

By: Mujib Mashal and Hari Kumar -- Reporting from Noida and Chennai, India
Published in: *The New York Times*
Date: May 18, 2024
Families grapple with anguish and isolation as they try to raise their
children in a country that increasingly questions their very identity.


It is a lonely feeling to know that your country’s leaders do not want you.
To be vilified because you are a Muslim in what is now a largely
Hindu-first India.

It colors everything. Friends, dear for decades, change. Neighbors hold
back from neighborly gestures — no longer joining in celebrations, or
knocking to inquire in moments of pain.

“It is a lifeless life,” said Ziya Us Salam, a writer who lives on the
outskirts of Delhi with his wife, Uzma Ausaf, and their four daughters.

When he was a film critic for one of India’s main newspapers
<https://www.thehindu.com/>, Mr. Salam, 53, used to fill his time with
cinema, art, music. Workdays ended with riding on the back of an older
friend’s motorcycle to a favorite food stall for long chats. His wife, a
fellow journalist, wrote about life, food and fashion.

Now, Mr. Salam’s routine is reduced to office and home, his thoughts
occupied by heavier concerns. The constant ethnic profiling because he is
“visibly Muslim” — by the bank teller, by the parking lot attendant, by
fellow passengers on the train — is wearying, he said. Family conversations
are darker, with both parents focused on raising their daughters in a
country that increasingly questions or even tries to erase the markers of
Muslims’ identity — how they dress, what they eat, even their Indianness
altogether.


One of them, an impressive student-athlete, struggled so much that she
needed counseling and missed months of school. The family often debates
whether to stay in their mixed Hindu-Muslim neighborhood in Noida, just
outside Delhi. Mariam, their oldest daughter, who is a graduate student,
leans toward compromise, anything to make life bearable. She wants to move.

Anywhere but a Muslim area might be difficult. Real estate agents often ask
outright if families are Muslim; landlords are reluctant to rent to them.

“I have started taking it in stride,” Mariam said.

“I refuse to,” Mr. Salam shot back. He is old enough to remember when
coexistence was largely the norm in an enormously diverse India, and he
does not want to add to the country’s increasing segregation.

But he is also pragmatic. He wishes Mariam would move abroad, at least
while the country is like this.

Mr. Salam clings to the hope that India is in a passing phase.


Prime Minister Narendra Modi, however, is playing a long game.

His rise to national power in 2014, on a promise of rapid development,
swept a decades-old Hindu nationalist movement from the margins of Indian
politics firmly to the center. He has since chipped away at the secular
framework and robust democracy that had long held India together despite
its sometimes explosive religious and caste divisions.

Right-wing organizations began using the enormous power around Mr. Modi as
a shield to try to reshape Indian society. Their members provoked sectarian
clashes as the government looked away, with officials showing up later to
raze Muslim homes and round up Muslim men. Emboldened vigilante groups
lynched Muslims they accused of smuggling beef (cows are sacred to many
Hindus). Top leaders in Mr. Modi’s party openly celebrated Hindus who
committed crimes against Muslims.

On large sections of broadcast media, but particularly on social media,
bigotry coursed unchecked. WhatsApp groups spread conspiracy theories about
Muslim men luring Hindu women for religious conversion, or even about
Muslims spitting in restaurant food. While Mr. Modi and his party officials
reject claims of discrimination by pointing to welfare programs that cover
Indians equally, Mr. Modi himself is now repeating anti-Muslim tropes in
the election that ends early next month. He has targeted India’s 200
million Muslims more directly than ever, calling them “infiltrators” and
insinuating that they have too many children.


This creeping Islamophobia is now the dominant theme of Mr. Salam’s
writings. Cinema and music, life’s pleasures, feel smaller now. In one
book, he chronicled the lynchings of Muslim men. In a recent follow-up, he
described how India’s Muslims feel “orphaned” in their homeland.


“If I don’t pick up issues of import, and limit my energies to cinema and
literature, then I won’t be able to look at myself in the mirror,” he said.
“What would I tell my kids tomorrow — when my grandchildren ask me what
were you doing when there was an existential crisis?”

As a child, Mr. Salam lived on a mixed street of Hindus, Sikhs and Muslims
in Delhi. When the afternoon sun would grow hot, the children would move
their games under the trees in the yard of a Hindu temple. The priest would
come with water for all.

“I was like any other kid for him,” Mr. Salam recalled.

Those memories are one reason Mr. Salam maintains a stubborn optimism that
India can restore its secular fabric. Another is that Mr. Modi’s Hindu
nationalism, while sweeping large parts of the country, has been resisted
by several states in the country’s more prosperous south.

Family conversations among Muslims there are very different: about college
degrees, job promotions, life plans — the usual aspirations.

In the state of Tamil Nadu, often-bickering political parties are united in
protecting secularism and in focusing on economic well-being. Its chief
minister, M.K. Stalin, is a declared atheist.


Jan Mohammed, who lives with his family of five in Chennai, the state
capital, said neighbors joined in each other’s religious celebrations. In
rural areas, there is a tradition: When one community finishes building a
place of worship, villagers of other faiths arrive with gifts of fruits,
vegetables and flowers and stay for a meal.

“More than accommodation, there is understanding,” Mr. Mohammed said.

His family is full of overachievers — the norm in their educated state. Mr.
Mohammed, with a master’s degree, is in the construction business. His
wife, Rukhsana, who has an economics degree, started an online clothing
business after the children grew up. One daughter, Maimoona Bushra, has two
master’s degrees and now teaches at a local college as she prepares for her
wedding. The youngest, Hafsa Lubna, has a master’s in commerce and within
two years went from an intern at a local company to a manager of 20.

Two of the daughters had planned to continue on to Ph.D’s. The only worry
was that potential grooms would be intimidated.

“The proposals go down,” Ms. Rukhsana jokes.


A thousand miles north, in Delhi, Mr. Salam’s family lives in what feels
like another country. A place where prejudice has become so routine that
even a friendship of 26 years can be sundered as a result.

Mr. Salam had nicknamed a former editor “human mountain” for his large
stature. When they rode on the editor’s motorcycle after work in the Delhi
winter, he shielded Mr. Salam from the wind.

They were together often; when his friend got his driver’s license, Mr.
Salam was there with him.

“I would go to my prayer every day, and he would go to the temple every
day,” Mr. Salam said. “And I used to respect him for that.”

A few years ago, things began to change. The WhatsApp messages came first.

The editor started forwarding to Mr. Salam some staples of anti-Muslim
misinformation: for example, that Muslims will rule India in 20 years
because their women give birth every year and their men are allowed four
wives.

“Initially, I said, ‘Why do you want to get into all this?’ I thought he
was just an old man who was getting all these and forwarding,” Mr. Salam
said. “I give him the benefit of doubt.”

The breaking point came two years ago, when Yogi Adityanath, a Modi
protégé, was re-elected as the leader of Uttar Pradesh, the populous state
adjoining Delhi where the Salam family lives. Mr. Adityanath, more overtly
belligerent than Mr. Modi toward Muslims, governs in the saffron robe of a
Hindu monk, frequently greeting large crowds of Hindu pilgrims with
flowers, while cracking down on public displays of Muslim faith.

On the day of the vote counting, the friend kept calling Mr. Salam,
rejoicing at Mr. Adityanath’s lead. Just days earlier, the friend had been
complaining about rising unemployment and his son’s struggle to find a job
during Mr. Adityanath’s first term.

“I said, ‘You have been so happy since morning, what do you gain?’” he
recalled asking the friend.

“Yogi ended namaz,” the friend responded, referring to Muslim prayer on
Fridays that often spills into the streets

“That was the day I said goodbye,” Mr. Salam said, “and he hasn’t come back
into my life after that.

Mujib Mashal is the South Asia bureau chief for The Times, helping to lead
coverage of India and the diverse region around it, including Bangladesh,
Sri Lanka, Nepal and Bhutan.

Hari Kumar covers India, based out of New Delhi. He has been a journalist
for more than two decades.

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