Cheers Dears
By Augusto Pinto
The Remo in Moira Concert
Dears,
Moira is agog with excitement. The buzz is that Remo Fernandes, the pop idol
of Goa is going to give a concert here. The most unbelievable part of the
story is that it's a free concert!! Remo is not usually known to give
anything for free, not even a cup of tea - but realizing perhaps that Moira
is special, he may have decided to make an exception.
The government of Goa has very kindly chipped in with Rs. 10 lakhs for
organizing the concert, of which Rs. 9 lakhs will be pocketed by Remo and
Rs. 1 lakh by some babus to release the amount. The concert will be held on
Remo's birthday, to raise awareness about the need to eradicate malaria and
other kinds of diseases.
As Remo knows, diseases such as malaria, bird-flu, S.T.D. and A.I.D.S. are
brought to Goa by ghantis. So during the concert, Remo will be singing about
the need to eradicate ghantis.
The concert is being organized by the Moira Association of Desperadoes
[M.A.D.] and will be held on their Club grounds. On the occasion, Remo will
be felicitated with a shawl and a bunch of bananas by Dr. Romulus de Souza
Nazare, President of M.A.D. Dr. Souza Nazare is currently in a blue funk
trying to ensure that the stormy petrel is happy with all the arrangements.
The Bomb Squad will be on stand-by during the show.
Remo will be jamming up with the cream of Moira's musical talent. That
includes Jeffrey D'Sousa on bass guitar, Xavier de Moira alias Paklo - on
the drums, and Jason Quadros on the keyboards. This lovely gesture will make
the Moira crowd go mad.
In honor of Remo, the resident lyricists of the Moira Intercosmic Lampooners
Front [M.I.L.F.] have composed a song which will be sung by me on the
occasion. It is called "The Goan Superman - Remo" and can be sung to the
tune of "Black Superman-Muhammad Ali" by Johnny Wakelin & The Kinshasa
Band. Here are the lyrics:
The Goan Superman - Remo
1.
This here's the story of Remo Sireeee
Who changed his name to Padma Shree Remo F'Des.
He knows how to yap and he knows how to bite
So all you bhailles better keep out of his sight
Chorus:
Sing Remo, Remo Sireeee
He whinges like a puppy and he sings like a flea
O Remoooo, the Goan popstar
Who snarls at the cops - Hey!! I'm Re-ee -mo...
Fine me if you can!!
Da ra dum, da ra dum, Da ra - dum, dum, dum...
2.
Now all you Goenkars, you've got to agree
There ain't no flies on this Padma Shree
He fingers all the politicoes wherever he goes
And then gets the government to pay for his shows.
Chorus
3.
Remo was known to have said
I look at ghantis crapping and it makes me see red
Especially if they don't speak fluent Concanim
Let alone Portuguese accented English like me.
Chorus
4.
He says I'm the greatest of the Goan super race
I made my name in Bollywood, now I spit on its face
My voice is so fantastic, I don't miss a note
Which is why the rape of Goa really gets my goat
Chorus
So far the organizers are facing only one problem. Attempts to rope in the
comic genius Cecil Pinto to emcee the concert have proved futile. He says he
does not do shows with riff-raff.
Till next time then...
Cheers (ENDS)
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The above article appeared in the August 20, 2008 edition of the Herald, Goa
