Happy Holidays to everyone!!!
This article fits pretty well with the season... Jeremy Supporting the Big Man Backspin <http://www.networkworld.com/columnists/gibbs.html> By Mark Gibbs <http://www.networkworld.com/Home/mgibbs.html> , Network World, 12/11/06 Yo, Big Man! How's it hangin'? Have I been good this year? Yes, I've been very good this year. I swear, just check your list. You've forgotten how? OK, I'll walk you through it - again. First, click on Start, then Programs, then NaughtyNice. Now click on XmasList. I know it's been a year but it isn't that hard to figure out! Yeah, yeah, I know, at your age . . . whatever. So, did it start? What, it won't start? Windows <http://www.networkworld.com/topics/windows.html> can't find it! OK, open Explorer - you know, Start, then Programs, then . . . oh, you're there. Go to drive C, then Program Files and then NN. Good. What? There's nothing in there! Sheesh. OK, no problem, we'll just reinstall it. Ah, you didn't keep a copy of the application installer? Oh, your drive crashed. And no backup? How surprising! Fine. How many times have I told you that you must do backups? Ah, you did back up the data file onto the server - which one? NorthPole34695? Good. At least we don't have to get several hundred elves doing data entry all night like we did last year. Boy, did you have to cover some serious overtime. So let's download a new copy. You've forgotten the download URL? Well, go to the Web site and log in. You've forgotten the Web site? OK, fire up your browser . . . oh great, you're using Firefox and the site only works with Internet Explorer. Sigh. All right, go to Start, click on Run and enter "iexplore". Good - OK, now we're back in business. Let's search for XmasList. There you are, click on the link and now log in. You don't remember your account name? Let's see . . . let's try sclause. Password? Try blitzen - no, all lower case. Yep, it's a miracle, no doubt about it. Of course that is the same account name and password you always use. We're in! And what? Your maintenance contract expired? Well, if you want the upgrade, you'll just have to flex that plastic of yours. Mine? Sorry, but it's Christmas, remember? Don't have much headroom left on my card either. Well sure, if you can stop by my house on Christmas Eve and drop off some jewelry for my wife? No? Thought not. So I'm going to need my card, aren't I? OK, so you've renewed and downloaded. Great - now run it. Well, where did you put it? So run Explorer and find it. Come on, Santa, we've been doing this for how many years? Yeah, well as much as I enjoy growing old together I've got a whole queue of support calls on hold. Yes, I know you're the boss but you are just a cog in the machine like me and you pay me to keep this IT stuff running so we stay in business. Oh come on, you always threaten to fire me and you never do. You know no one else would do support for this outfit for the pathetic wages you pay. Yeah, I know there's a first time for everything, but this ain't it so let's move on. Right, you've found it and ... good, you've reinstalled it. Now run it up. Good. Import your data file. Yes, it is in your subdirectory on NorthPole34695. Yes, your account name is sclause and your password is blitzen. Yes, b-l-i-t-z-e-n. Yes, all lowercase (sigh). No, I was just clearing my throat. OK, now index the list. Yes, it is slow and I told you to buy a better machine but, oh no, you wouldn't. "Too expensive" you said and then you went out and bought a Wii for heaven's sake! How old are you? All right, the indexing has finished. Now enter your query. That's right, my last name in the last name field, my first name in the first name field, and my Social Security number in the field labeled SSN. It worked? Well, miracles of miracles. Score another one for the good guys. So have I been good? It's coal again? Yeah, big surprise. That's life in tech support. OK, have a good run, Big Man. Yeah. Merry Christmas to you too. And say "hi" to the missus. _______________________________________________ Jeremy Pearson Supervisor of Information Technology Fort Dodge Community School District 104 South 17th Street Fort Dodge, Iowa 50501 http://www.fort-dodge.k12.ia.us <http://www.fort-dodge.k12.ia.us/> (515)574-5676 voice (515)574-5324 fax
