|
================== LOVE AND MARRIAGE ================== Part 3 of 4 HOW DO YOU HANDLE A VERY, VERY FRAGILE GLASS? A hadith says, "rifqan qawaareer." It tells us to treat the wife as gently and softly as we would treat a very fragile and thin glass. When married men get tempered and about to say/do something, they should think: is it going against this saying? Am I being too harsh where this glass might break? If such a situation arrives, the wife should remind her husband. It's true that if one is fire, the other one should be ice to keep the balance, but that doesn't give either one the right to become angry. Our anger should be used in the right cause, not in the wrong place or time. PATIENCE AND THANKFULNESS After marriage, a couple should allow enough time to understand each other. The man must know that he is dealing with a woman. So, he can't act/react the same way he'd do with his friends. It goes for a woman also. Each has to understand other's mental and physical states and moods and how they change. There should be only two choices: (1) patience and (2) thankfulness. Anything that's pleasing, give thanks. Anything that's irritating, show patience. "DUCK AND DODGE" Men want to solve woman's problems. But, usually they listen less and decide more. If it is a complain/problem about him, he needs to "duck and dodge." He should let her explain. If it hurts, just stand back and ask again to explain more. Keep "ducking and dodging" until there's no more complains and she gets exhausted. Now, the man has in fact solved a problem by actually listening to them and not getting defensive or quickly decisive. SMILE, BE PLEASANT The psychology behind using "always-smiling-and-happy-faces" in sports car and alcoholic beverage advertisement is that people will be attracted to buy those products. A man is attracted to an appreciative woman as a woman is attracted to a pleasant man. You should always smile and be thankful. If the weather is stormy and damp outside, your pleasant face can make the inside of the house filled with breeze and sunshine. BE IMPRESSIVE INSIDE THE HOUSE ALSO We make ourselves fit and appropriate before we go outside. We should do that more inside the house for the spouses. You would wear a torn-out shirt inside, but you wouldn't go outside wearing it. Doesn't your spouse deserve the best appearance from you? "CREATED IN PAIRS" I will live for a fixed amount of time, but I don't know the exact figure; I don't know when I'll die. Allaah says, we are created in pairs and it's predestined, but I won't know who the spouse is until marriage. All my life before marriage actually prepares me to be where I will be at the time of marriage. The decisions we make and paths we choose before marriage determine the kind of person I will become by the time of marriage. One who gets up at Fajr during winter will probably have a mate who also gets up at Fajr and will help each other after marriage in doing the same. The young man who saves his gaze from others before marriage will probably be gifted with a young woman who has done the same. That's why it's extremely important to choose the right partner, by looking at the person's fear of Allaah, practice of the deen, behavior with fellow people etc. As we will be getting older, as the beauties will be fading, the only things that will remain are our behaviors and characters. CULTURALLY STUCK PARENTS Many parents don't practice the deen properly and therefore get stuck with cultural background and financial status when looking for mates for their children. People, who can distinguish between Islaam and culture and give preference to Islaam, should marry the ones who are also able to do the same. They deserve better! The parents need to know the difference between cultural traditions and Islamic practices. They need to be wise enough to choose the Islamic practice whenever there is a conflict. On the other hand, just because you are their child, doesn't mean you don't have to bring awareness about such issues in the best possible manners. You have got to be the example! FEEL THE PAIN AND HELP Couples, who had experienced the pain and trouble of youth life and passed the test of marriage with success, should guide and help those who are next on line. If you are a parent, don't ignore any drastic change in your children's behavior. Get closer to them and extend your helpful hands. If you come from a different land, know that this land is not the same. Look around the neighborhood, the schools and colleges, the display of widespread puppy loves and realize how difficult it is for them to stay unharmed. You want the best for your child. Don't you? You need to do the best you can. Have you? source: http://hamditabligh.net
Islahonline
*************************************************************************** {Invite (mankind, O Muhammad ) to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Inspiration and the Qur'an) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided.} (Holy Quran-16:125) {And who is better in speech than he who [says: "My Lord is Allah (believes in His Oneness)," and then stands straight (acts upon His Order), and] invites (men) to Allah's (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and says: "I am one of the Muslims."} (Holy Quran-41:33) The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "By Allah, if Allah guides one person by you, it is better for you than the best types of camels." [al-Bukhaaree, Muslim] The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said, "Whoever calls to guidance will have a reward similar to the reward of the one who follows him, without the reward of either of them being lessened at all." [Muslim, Ahmad, Aboo Daawood, an-Nasaa'ee, at-Tirmidhee, Ibn Maajah] -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Recommended: http://www.islamonline.net http://www.islam-guide.com http://www.prophetmuhammadforall.org -------------------------------------------------------------------------- All views expressed herein belong to the individuals concerned and do not in any way reflect the official views of IslamCity unless sanctioned or approved otherwise. If your mailbox clogged with mails from IslamCity, you may wish to get a daily digest of emails by logging-on to http://www.yahoogroups.com to change your mail delivery settings or email the moderators at [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the title "change to daily digest". YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
|
