I. INTRODUCTION
In America there are many special days set aside to honor and appreciate
special people. Some of these are: Father's Day, Mother's Day, Grandfather's
Day, Grandmother's Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc. We do realize the
significance of these occasions and we recognize the ideas, ideals, and
philosophies of such days. We appreciate the efforts of those who initiated
these occasions for the recognition and appreciation of special people.
As for the appreciation of parents, we admire the efforts of children who
remember their parents on such occasions by sending them greeting cards and
gifts. However, we hope that the appreciation is not for one single day in a
year, but for every day throughout the year.
II. PARENTS IN QUR'AN
A Muslim child should respect and appreciate his or her parents every day
throughout the year. Allah asked human beings to recognize their parents after
recognition Allah Himself. Throughout the Qur'an, we notice that parents are
mentioned with appreciation and with respect, even if they are senile. In Surah
Al-Isra' (Children of Israel) there is a very beautiful description of how
parents are to be treated. Allah (swt) says:
"Your Lord had decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you
show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with
you, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious
word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My
Lord! Have mercy on them both, as they did care for me when I was
young." [17:23-24]
The recognition and respect of parents is mentioned in the Qur'an eleven
times; in every instance, Allah reminds children to recognize and to appreciate
the care and love they have received from their parents. In one aspect, Allah
demands that children recognize their parents by saying to them:
"We have enjoined on man kindness to parents." [29:8/46:15]
1. The demand for recognizing parents is made more emphatic
when Allah says in the Qur'an Surah Al-Baqarah (The Cow) the following:
"And (remember) when We made a covenant with the children of Israel,
(saying): worship none save Allah (only), and be good to
parents..." [2:83]
2. In Surah Al-Nisaa' (The Women) Allah (swt) emphasized
again that children should be kind to their parents.
"And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as partner unto Him. (Show) Kindness
unto parents... " [4:36]
3. In Surah Al An'Am (The Cattle), Allah (swt) reemphasized
that people should be kind to their parents.
"Say: Come, I will recite unto you that which your Lord has made a sacred
duty for you; that you ascribe nothing as partner unto Him and that you do good
to parents..." [6:151]
III. MOTHERS
Although Islam recognized both parents, mothers are given particular
gratitude and respect. This attitude of Islam is understood if we realize the
hardships and the suffering that mothers experience in their lives. In this
regard, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:
It was narrated by Abu Hurairah (R) that a man came to the Prophet (pbuh)
and asked him, 'Who is to be close to my friendship?' The Prophet (pbuh)
answered:
Your mother, your mother, your mother, then your father, then the one
closest to your kinship, and the one after.
Islam has endorsed respect for parents by their children even if the parents
are non-Muslims. If parents strive very hard to convert their children to
non-Islamic beliefs, they don't follow them, but they are to be good to them. In
this regard, Allah (swt) says in Surah Luqman:
"And We have enjoined upon man concerning his parents--his mother beareth
him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years--Give thanks unto
Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is the journeying. But if they strive with you
to make you ascribe unto Me as partner that of which you have no knowledge, then
obey them not. Consort with them in the world kindly, and follow the part of him
who repents unto Me. Then unto Me will you return, and I shall tell you what you
used to do.--" [31:14-15]
IV. MORE RESPECT
Islam teaches us that respect for parents comes immediately after praying to
Allah and before Jihad (struggle and striving in the way of Allah). In this
respect, the Prophet (pbuh) said the following:
Narrated by Abi Abder Rahman Abdullah bin Massoud (May Allah be pleased with
him) saying: I asked the Prophet (pbuh), "which deed is more liked by
Allah?" He replied, "Prayers on time." Then I asked, "Which one is
next?" He said, "Goodness to parents." Then I asked, "Then which
one is next?" He said, "Jihad in the way of
Allah." (Agreed)
In Islam, respect for parents is so great that the child and his wealth are
considered to be the property of the parents. In this regard, the Prophet (pbuh)
said:
Narrated by Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) that a person came to the
Prophet (pbuh) to resolve his dispute with his father regarding a loan given to
the father. The Prophet (pbuh) said to the person,"You and your wealth are to
your father."
V. FINAL REMARKS
We hope and we pray that all of us will respect our parents while they are
alive and even after they are dead. You may honor your parents after they died
through the following methods:
- Make daily Du'a' for them
- Give a charity on their behalf
- Institute a perpetual charity on their behalf - such as a Masjid, an Islamic Center, an Islamic Library, an Islamic hospital, an orphanage, a senior citizen's home, etc.
- Perform Hajj on their behalf or ask someone to do so.
- Read Qur'an on their behalf
- Distribute Islamic Literature on their behalf
Let us pray to Allah that we will do our best to respect our parents, to
honor them, to be kind to them, to help them, and to please them for the love of
Allah.
O Allah! Accept our humble prayers and make us obedient servants to
you.
O Allah! Help us to be respectful children to our parents. Ameen.
W'ssalaamu'alaikum W Rahmatullahi W barakatuhu
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{Invite (mankind, O Muhammad ) to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Inspiration and the Qur'an) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided.}
(Holy Quran-16:125)
{And who is better in speech than he who [says: "My Lord is Allah (believes in His Oneness)," and then stands straight (acts upon His Order), and] invites (men) to Allah's (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and says: "I am one of the Muslims."} (Holy Quran-41:33)
The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "By Allah, if Allah guides one person by you, it is better for you than the best types of camels." [al-Bukhaaree, Muslim]
The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said, "Whoever calls to guidance will have a reward similar to the reward of the one who follows him, without the reward of either of them being lessened at all."
[Muslim, Ahmad, Aboo Daawood, an-Nasaa'ee, at-Tirmidhee, Ibn Maajah]
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