TIPS FOR ON HOW TO
HANDLE PORNOGRAPHY
It’s hard, especially when you’re a teenager and
bombarded with images of sexuality: that hot-looking scantily clad guy or
gal in the magazine, grinning at you and luring you; or the persistent
emphasis on sex in the movies (even Toy Story!); or the pervasive links to
pornography and ad banners that pop up while you may simply be checking
your e-mail or researching something for school. How does a young Muslim
protect him or herself from all of this? Below are some tips that can
help:
Tip 1. Know
what is Halal (lawful) and what’s not We may think only hard
core pornography is Islamically unacceptable. This is not true. Improperly
dressed men and women, sexual situations, foreplay, kissing, touching,
dirty jokes: none of these are Islamically acceptable. Talk to a trusted
Muslim friend, family member of the same gender or an Imam about this.
Bring it up and ask them to give you the Islamic perspective.
Tip 2. Remember your accountability to Allah In
America and some other countries, you’re fully responsible for your
actions when you turn 18. In Islam, you’re fully accountable as soon as
you understand these things. So that means that from that point onwards,
you cannot assume looking at this stuff is no big deal. Your eyes will
testify about what you looked at on the Day of Judgment. Remember that
Allah is always watching. He is Most Just and Merciful, and He rewards us
for the good and punishes us for the bad we do.
Tip 3. Become conscious of the Haram
(unlawful) Too often, it’s easy to dismiss that billboard with
the spandex-and-bikini-top-clad blonde girl advertising gum, or the guy in
tight leather pants and no shirt advertising perfume. When you see it,
remember the Islamic perspective, your accountability to Allah, and lower
your gaze. Do the same for television and the internet. If you keep doing
this, insha-Allah, it’ll become a habit, and eventually an automatic
reaction.
Tip 4. If feeling overwhelmed,
remember Allah In situations where you feel overwhelmed and
can’t get yourself to switch the channel, close the browser window or turn
your eyes away from the billboard, ask Allah’s help. You don’t necessarily
need any heavy duty, long Dua's. "La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah"
(there is no power or ability except with Allah) is short, simple, and
reminds you who is really in control and can help you out of
this.
Tip 5. Seek refuge in Allah from
Shaitan Shaitan lured you into this mess. Seeking refuge in
Allah (saying awthu/awoozoo billahi minash Shaitan ir rajeem), will help
you resist him and his whisperings to continue looking at the
material.
Tip 6. Get up and leave If
you feel unable to control looking at the screen or the magazine, leave
the situation. Get out of the living room, your bedroom where the internet
is, or where you’ve been reading the magazine. Take a walk. Just do
something to physically get out of the situation.
Tip 7. Avoid those involved in pornography If one
of your friends is into pornographic magazines, websites, dirty jokes etc.
either help him or her change through gentle and sincere advice, or
abandon frequent contact with them. Their compulsion will affect you, so
it’s best to stay as far away as possible, by remembering the danger to
yourself, your Deen, and your relationship with Allah.
Tip 8. Stay away from places where it’s
found Sometimes it’s on a billboard on a highway and you can’t
miss it. But often times, you’ll notice certain parts of your city (the
seedier ones) tend to be filled with this kind of material (where there
are usually strip joints, for example). Avoid these places as much as you
can. If it’s on your way to school, try to change your route. Also, in
summer, stay away from the beach.
Tip 9. Surf
or watch TV when others are around The temptation to sneak a
look at dirty pictures or that bikini-clad babe is heightened when you’re
alone in your room watching television or surfing the internet. Try to
avoid late night TV and internet surfing. Instead, watch or surf when
others are around so you can resist the urge to sneak a peek, thinking no
one’s watching (and remember Allah is always watching). It is a good idea
not to have TV or computer in the bedroom anyway. Living room or study
room is a better place for this stuff.
Tip 10.
Remember your example If you have younger brothers and sisters,
think of the bad example you’re setting for them. What message will they
get if they barge into your room and catch you watching Baywatch or
flipping through Playboy.
Tip 11. For brothers,
remember your mom and sister Disgusting right? Exactly. No one
in his right mind would look at his mom or sister the way many of us look
at the Baywatch babes or the girls on the internet or in magazines.
Remember mom and your sister, and that should sicken you enough to stop,
insha-Allah.
Tip 12. Have someone watch over
you If you really feel you’re becoming addicted to this kind of
material, try to watch TV, surf the internet with someone else. You don’t
have to tell them why you’re doing this, but this method can perhaps keep
you in check and help you avoid looking at pornography or other similar
material. After all, Shaitan tempts us most easily when we’re alone.
Sitting in the company of a family member or good Muslim friend will insha
Allah, help.
Tip 13. Fast The Prophet
(p.b.u.h.) advised us to fast to cool passions. This should be a method we
use to handle the desire aroused by pornography and similar
material.
Tip 14. Do Tawba and return to
Allah If you do end up watching the bad stuff, repent to Allah.
Seek His forgiveness, reaffirm your faith in Him, and do good deed to
compensate for that sin. He is All-Forgiven as long as you are
sincere.
Tip 15. Repent again and fine
yourself If you lapse, do tawba again. Allah is All-Forgiving as
long as we mean it. But then you need to discipline yourself by promising
to yourself that if I did it again, I will pay this much in charity or
fast for a day. The message is that don’t give up on yourself. Keep
trying. Struggle is life. Shaitan could be creative. And with the help of
Allah, you will be the winner insha Allah.
Source: http://www.uwt.org/Download/Latest/TIPS%20FOR%20TEENS%20ON%20HOW%20TO.doc
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