This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy
> > submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in
> > Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
> >
> > NAME: Greg Bulmash
> >
> > SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
> >
> > DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President.
> > But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in
> > a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
> >
> > DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a
> > Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not
> > possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
> >
> > EDUCATION: Yes.
> >
> > LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
> >
> > SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
> >
> > MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of
> > stolen pens and post-it notes.
> >
> > REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
> >
> > HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
> >
> > PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
> >
> > DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better
> > suited to a more intimate environment.
> >
> > MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
> >
> > DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT
> > YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
> >
> > DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate
> > question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
> >
> > HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I
> > may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
> >
> > DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
> >
> > WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living
> > in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy
> > blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest
> > thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doingthat now.
> >
> > DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO
> > THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
> >
> > SIGN HERE: Aries.
>
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