> > A Few Zen Thoughts for Those Who Take Life Too Seriously > --------------------------------------------------------- > > Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until > you hear them speak. > > OK, so what's the speed of dark? > > Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. > > Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. > > Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. > > If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. > > Save the whales. Collect the whole set. > > A day without sunshine is like, night. > > On the other hand, you have different fingers. > > I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory. > > 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. > > 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. > > I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. > > Honk if you love peace and quiet. > > Remember, half the people you know are below average. > > He who laughs last, thinks slowest. > > Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. > > The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the > trap. > > I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. > > Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week. > > A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. > > Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. > > Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade! > > Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. > > Always try to be modest, and be proud of it! > > How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand... > > How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? > > If every thing seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked > something. > > When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. > > If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? > > How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? > > Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. > > What happens if you get scared half to death twice? > > I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. > > I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. > > Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? > > Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. > > Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. > > The things that come to those that wait are the things left by those who got > in first. > > >
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