> > > TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: > > You have two cows. > > You sell one and buy a bull. > > Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. > > You sell them and retire on the income. > > > > ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: > > You have two cows. > > You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters > > of > > credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a > > debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all > > four > > cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. > > The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to > > a > > Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who > > sells, > > the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual > > report > > says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. > > Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you > > with > > nine cows. > > No balance sheet provided with the release. > > The public buys your bull. > > > > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. > > You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. > > You are surprised when the cow drops dead. > > > > A FRENCH CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. > > You go on strike because you want three cows. > > > > A JAPANESE CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. > > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and > > > > produce twenty times the milk. > > You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market > > them > > World-Wide. > > > > A GERMAN CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. > > You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and > > milk > > themselves. > > > > A BRITISH CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. > > Both are mad. > > > > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: > > You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. > > You break for lunch. > > > > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. > > You count them and learn you have five cows. > > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. > > You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. > > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. > > > > A SWISS CORPORATION: > > You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. > > You charge others for storing them. > > You make the best milk chocolate in the world. > > > > A HINDU CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. > > You worship them. > > > > A CHINESE CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. > > You have 300 people milking them. > > You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the > > newsman > > who reported the numbers. > > > > AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: > > So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? > > They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie > > rights. > > They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs > > people? > > > > AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. > > That one on the left is kinda cute... > > > > > > >
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