[jQuery] (validate) How to get individual error messages and disable auto-showing

[Mike]

I'm trying to write a custom display for the error messages on my
form.  Ideally I'd like to use a modal pop-up window to display the
errors, but I'm having trouble figuring out how to prevent the
validation plugin from automatically displaying the errors on my page
AND I can't quite figure out how to access the individual error
messages for the elements on my form.

What I want to do is to allow users to save invalid forms, but to warn
them that they are invalid to make them confirm that they want to
save.

I have something like this:

invalidHandler: function(form, validator) {
  //some code here figuring out if specific elements are within
maxlength so as not to blow up the db

  if (canSave) {  //canSave determined in the comments above
   var msg = "There are errors...";

   for(errors in validator.errors) {
     msg = msg + "<br/>" + errors.message;
   }

    jConfirm(msg, 'You can still save!', function(r) {
                                                        if (r){
                                                          
document.forms['myform'].submit();
                                                        }
                                                        else {
                                                        }
                                                });

   if (
  }
  else {
    jAlert('Cannot save right now', 'Unable to save');
  }
}

Can I get access to the list of errors from the validator or even
individually for each element in my form?

and

Can I turn off the auto showing of errors?

Thanks!