As seen in a dog's diary: 8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favourite... 10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favourite! 11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favourite! Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! Yaaay great fun! 1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favourite! 3pm - Oh Boy! More kids! Excellent! 4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favourite! 5pm - Oh Boy! Mum! Brilliant! 7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favourite! 9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! Yippee! As seen in a cat's diary: Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little Cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time... Jane Bawn Portchester UK To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
