I HAVE A GOOD LAUGH, AND WILL YOUcccccc
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Subject: Statements by lawyers
Unbelievable statements by lawyers
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of
America , and are
things attorneys actually said in court, word for
word, taken down and
now published by court reporters, who had to suffer
from the torment of
staying calm while these exchanges were actually
taking place.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________ _________ _________ __________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why
I was doing an
autopsy on him.
____________ _________ ________ _________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and
practising law!
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