---------------------------------
[39] There's (NOT) only one Manchester United?
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Shock news - Manchester United didn't win the league last season - we
finished nine points behind Glacis United. This is another Manchester United - the
one in Gibraltar. Apparently the Glacis United manager (Arse Wenker) claimed that
there was no way they were 9 points worse than "Man U". "We were cheated - the
Gibraltarian FA gave them the league, no-one tries against them, they always get the
easy draw, we had too many games..." (SMACK!)
To give credit to the other Manchester United, they've won the Gibraltarian league 7
times since 1975 and in 1974 they were so overwhelmingly dominant that the reserves
won the Cup. Maybe that's
where Fergie got the idea from? And also conclusive proof that city
are about as successful as a team playing in the Gibraltarian
Reserves League
For a PLC which guards its "brand" so jealously it seems a bit surprising they
haven't got this covered by Trademarks and Copyrights in Gibraltar like they have
everywhere else from Stretford to Shanghai. When they won't even let someone knock
out a few unofficial T-shirts with the club badge on. (Maybe there is a loophole and
we could reform a team called Manchester United FOOTBALL CLUB).
So presumably they don't know about it inside OT? Peter Draper in
marketing will hit the roof. And as for Martin Edwards - maybe we'll
see the veins bulging and his purple head throbbing in anger again.
Allegedly a sight to behold - according to women around the globe.
---------------------------------
[40] About time too - www.soccerdogs.co.uk
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by redend:
what we've all been waiting for - now why didn't I think of that? www.soccerdogs.co.uk
- get a United coat for your dog. Obvious. Its a winner.
Maybe they do a dog coat version of the long UMBRO jackets - going cheap now that Nike
are in the frame. The perfect Xmas gift - especially for someone who doesn't have a
dog - or a life.
---------------------------------
[39] There's (not) only one United
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by redend:
Shock news - Manchester United didn't win the league last season - we finished nine
points behind Glacis United. This is another Manchester United - the one in Gibraltar.
Did the Glacis United manager ( Arse Wenker) claim that there was no way they were 9
points worse than "Man U". "We were cheated - the Gibraltarian FA gave them the
league, no-one tries against them, they always get the easy draw, we had too many
games..." (SMACK!)
To give credit to the other Manchester United, they've won the Gibraltarian league 7
times since 1975 and in 1974 they were so overwhelmingly dominant that the reserves
won the Cup. Maybe that's where Fergie got the idea from? And also conclusive proof
that city are about as successful as a team playing in the Gibraltarian Reserves League
For a PLC which guards its "brand" so jealously it seems a bit surprising they haven't
got this covered by Trademarks and Copyrights in Gibraltar like they have everywhere
else from Stretford to Shaghai. When they won't even let someone knock out a few
unofficial T-shirts with the club badge on. (Maybe there is a loophole and we could
reform a team called Manchester United FOOTBALL CLUB).
So presumably they don't know about it inside OT? Peter Draper in marketing will hit
the roof. And as for Martin Edwards - maybe we'll see the veins bulging and his purple
head throbbing in anger again. Allegedly a sight to behold - according to call girls
around the globe.
---------------------------------
[38] Train and ticket news
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Train - 4,000 tickets still on general sale for West Ham at homeon New Years Day.
Forget the hangover and get down on it!
Train news for Charlton (most trains taking 4-5 hours at the moment)...Virgin times
(ie; pie in sky?) of the last two trains returning to Manchester. 6.45pm and 7.45pm.
But judging by trains recently, get on the earliest one you can! And stock up on the
beers!
---------------------------------
[37] More on new coach joining Utd
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
>From earlier story in the news...more info.
Dave Bell has left his position as director of Bristol Rovers' Centre of Excellence to
become assistant Football Development Officer at United. Bell said: "In a way I am
sorry to leave because everyone at Rovers has been fantastic to me...My son is an
apprentice at Rochdale and I have a daughter in Manchester. I've missed my family and
it will be nice to be back with them again." Bell's job with United will include going
into schools and arranging PR events involving the players.
---------------------------------
[36] Giggs raring to go
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
"I feel fine and getting the goal was a bonus"
Short but sweet news!
---------------------------------
[35] Quote of the day
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
>From David James in response to Paolo Di Canio calling him a 'cretin and moron'. Now
>we know he's a dodgy keeper for one, and judging by any post-match interviews we've
>seen him in he's what you could say appearing to look like one plank short of a
>ladder. So his reponse to Di Canio yesterday that: "Dos Di Canio not know the meaning
>of the words cretin and moron. A cretin suffers from thyroid deficiency, and the term
>stems from 18th century France. It was initially directed at people living in the
>valleys of the Alps and the Pyrenees and in some cases, the condition is believed to
>have led to dwarfism. I'm 6ft 5 inches for heavens sake" - well, it has to have you
>thinking whether James came out with all that without prompting, or autocue. Funny
>whichever though.
---------------------------------
[34] Take a look round this site
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
www.rednews.co.uk
Is well worth checking if you haven't already and if you have, look again as we've
just expanded Features once again - with great reserve reports from the Old Fart,
match reports from the first team, exclusive on-line articles, interviews, our
unofficial shop and much, much more to come as well!
---------------------------------
[33] United author speaks out
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Mihir Bose - fat bloke from Telegraph and author of Manchester Unlimited - "My gut
feeling" (and it is a large gut, let's not forget) "...is that the new manager to
replace Fergie will come from overseas. In fact, I think it's quite likely that United
will look abroad for their next manager. They see themselves as a global club and they
may well conclude, like the Football Association did in choosing Sven-Goran Eriksson,
that the best man lies abroad. It also has to be someone who already has enjoyed
significant success - United haven't got time to groom a successor. As for the idea of
Steve McClaren, the current No.2, succeeding Ferguson, in my experience it is always
the case that number twos never get the top job."
"...like all great dominations, Manchester United's will one day come to an end.
However, so long as United are in the Champions League it will be very difficult for
them to be knocked off their perch. Being in the Champions League brings both money
and profile, and so long as you are in it then you're stuck in a very rewarding and
lucrative circle."
---------------------------------
[32] Same old tripe comes out
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Here we go again...
>From Football Unlimited: 'According to the latest data held by the Sir Norman Chester
>Centre for Football Research at the University of Leicester Newcastle enjoy the
>largest local support of any British club.'
(so explain all those coaches going south after a game at St James Park for the home
fans then?)
'During the 1998-98 season, the Toon sold 85% of their season tickets to fans who were
locally born (ie: within 20 miles of the club's ground). Sheffield Wednesday and
Middlesbrough came joint second, with 82%, closely followed by Charlton (81%), Everton
and Blackburn (79%), and Liverpool and Aston Villa (78%)."
At United, 66% of the Old Trafford crowd are considered "locals" by the survey. 64% of
the Elland Road crowd come from Leeds, while Southampton, only fill 56% of the Dell
with locals.'
We always feel a little bit strange with polls like these (well, were you asked to
fill in the questionnaire) but even taking 66% - which we doubt - as the ball park
figure, doesn't that make the local support over 44,000 at Old Trafford - more than
the capacities of the Premiership?
---------------------------------
[31] Ideal unofficial Xmas presents
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
How about the full collection of 53 available back issues of Red News the fanzine, for
just...wait for it...drum roll...£19 including the Secret Diary of Monsieur Cantona
book as well. Just sent 5 large s.a.e's (or £5 extra to cover the postage) with a
cheque made payable to Red News, P.O.Box 176, Manchester, M16 8LG.
You'll get to read RN from the 80s, 90s and this year - over 20 players interviewed
and how we witnessed the events of the times. Well, worth it!
---------------------------------
[30] Petit linked again
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Arsenal and Chelsea as well as United are all keen after he said: "I am not going to
waste my time being a sub" - not a reference to the Utd song we hasten to add.
---------------------------------
[29] One for the prawn munchers amongst you
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
'A £1 million home has been saved after exploding champagne bottles put out a kitchen
fire. An electrical fault at the house near Sevenoaks in Kent caused the fridge to
burst into flames during the night - but the heat made six bottles of Bollinger
explode. The noise woke the residents who managed to douse the flames. A fire
service spokesman said: "It seems the champagne acted as a smoke alarm and sprinkler
system rolled into one."
What about the poor little prawn orphans?
---------------------------------
[28] Radio Bristol with Utd world scoop?
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
As they say United are set to recruit Bristol Rovers' centre of
excellence director Dave Bell in January. Bell is to become the assistant football
development officer. The 38-year-old has been at Rovers for the last 18 months and was
previously the youth coach at Bristol City.
Bell told BBC Radio Bristol: "Most players would jump at the chance to join United,
it's the same for a coach."
Utd getting ready for the changing of the guard we all don't want to happen in 18
months?
---------------------------------
[27] Berg - so that's what it's down to then
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Expect some final sort of offer by the end of next week but the stumbling block is not
only the £2.5m price tag but the apparent £20,000 a week wage demands.
---------------------------------
[26] Pole shocker for Poll...
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
We could get used to this headline making malarky you know!
English ref Graham Poll had to take a pole off the pitch after it hit Milan's goalie
Christian Abbiati when it was hurled from the stands during a 1-0 win at La Coruna.
---------------------------------
[25] Fergie - Graz got away with it
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Fouling that is...
"Graz were a very physical side who gave away a lot of fouls - and got away with a
lot."
---------------------------------
[24] Fergie on Scholes
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
"He started off as a striker when he was a kid, though he was never in the class of
Andy Cole or Dwight Yorke. But he is a great finisher and you forget because he's a
midfielder just how many he has scored."
---------------------------------
[23] Great Graz praise
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
"You cannot compare Manchester United with Glasgow Rangers or any of
the other teams we have beaten here," admitted the Graz coach, Ivica
Osim. "They have no real weaknesses, from their coach to their substitutes' bench,
but perhaps we had too much respect for them in the first half. There is a huge gulf
between the names of the two clubs, the quality of their stadia and the charisma they
inspire, but not, I think, in the quality of the players. We had our chances."
---------------------------------
[22] Sir Bobby does it for charadee
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Sir Bobby Charlton has agreed to become an international ambassador for a
sight-saving charity which according to the MEN "first touched his heart 10 years ago
while he was coaching in Rangoon, Burma". (we'll leave comment about touring such a
place in the first place...)
"Orbis operates the world's only flying eye hospital, jetting top specialists to
treat people in poor nations. Sir Bobby toured the DC-10 jet when it landed at
Manchester Airport, and has now accepted the offer to become the charity's first
ambassador. His voluntary role will include promoting the organisation, backing
fund-raising drives and visiting the jet both abroad and in Britain.
Sir Bobby told the M.E.N.: "The charity's work in Rangoon stuck in my mind because it
was simply sensational, and it still is today. The gift of sight is the most precious
thing, and Orbis gives people a chance denied to them in their own countries. The
staff do a wonderful job. That's why it has my total support."
Sir Bobby's first job in his new role was to back a Christmas appeal for the charity,
which also trains local doctors in countries like Ethiopia, India and Bangladesh, to
continue curing patients.
Anyone wishing to make a donation can call 0207 278 5528.
---------------------------------
[21] Blue half-moon
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
The MEN reports:
"The authors of best-selling Manchester City book Blue Moon Rising
hope to have finally sorted out a case of mistaken identity. A mix-up at the printers
led to the photographs of authors Andy Buckley and Richard Burgess appearing the
wrong way round on the back cover".
INSERT OWN JOKE HERE!...
---------------------------------
[20] More from Kenyon over pre-season
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
"The pre-season tour is a unique opportunity to build a deeper relationship with our
loyal fans internationally. We are delighted and are looking forward to be to playing
in South-East Asia next year in July. With the help of ProEvents, this vision has
become a reality. For the fans, the tour is a great opportunity to see their favourite
players through a range of exciting activities in addition to the game. This continues
to build on Manchester United's plan to bring our fans closer to the team"
Cue massive laughter from all 4 corners of Manchester, especially as there are deals
to see all sorts of events, like training sessions open to official supporters clubs,
that just don't happen over here anymore.
---------------------------------
[19] Schmikes Power?
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Sporting Lisbon have reacted to pressure from club members and players and reinstated
Augusto Inacio as coach just 24 hours after sacking him. Inacio spent 14 months at
the club and won the league with Sporting last season.
Former Portugal international Fernando Mendes, who was going to take
over team affairs in Inacio's absence, said: "My conscience is clear
and I have no problems. I will do my very best and together with the great players we
have, we are going to reverse the situation in the club. I will tell the players to
be themselves, and I hope they will respond."
Sporting Lisbon goalkeeper Peter Schmeichel had said that he was surprised and
disappointed about the club's sacking of Inacio and described it as a "stupid and
ill-considered decision. I'm surprised, yes, but not shocked," said the former
Manchester United shot-stopper to the Danish newspaper BT. "Over here, anything can
happen. I'm so disappointed over the decision. Inacio gave Sporting their first title
in 19 years only half a year ago, and now they just give him the boot.
For me, it looks like a stupid and ill-considered decision. Inacio
had the talent and the calibre to get us through our current crisis.
But, apparently, the Portuguese don't understand that a top club need
calmness, stability and continuity. There are a lot of examples in
top international football that the sacking of a coach only makes
things worse. I fear that this may happen to us."
Lo and behold, decision reversed!
---------------------------------
[18] Stats from last night
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Sturm Graz Man Utd
GOALS 0 2
SHOTS ON TARGET 3 5
SHOTS OFF TARGET 6 3
BLOCKED SHOTS 2 1
CORNERS 1 5
FOULS CONCEDED 11 10
OFFSIDES 3 6
YELLOW CARDS 2 1
---------------------------------
[17] Praise for what exactly?
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Ian Wright received an honorary degree from the University of North London -
alongside his MBE does nobody remember the many unsavoury incidents that happened
(Oldham - spitting) during his career.
---------------------------------
[16] Arsenal defender banned from Xmas play?
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
City officials in Canada have banned a donkey from their live animal nativity scene
because it is too violent. The Christmas stable is set up each December outside
Edmonton City Hall but this year it will be one ass short. According to the Edmonton
Sun newspaper, the donkey often kicked out at the three sheep that joined him
alongside the manger. City spokesman Don Belanger said: "He had a tendency to be,
well, shall we say, somewhat territorial."
And also put his hand up for no apparent reason...
---------------------------------
[15] Don't think Frank has stopped praising
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Becks that is. Beckenbauer that is.
"Beckham can continue to get better. I really like him. I like the way he passes the
ball and the way he shoots. It's fantastic. He can play wide or in the middle of the
field so that doesn't have to be a debate. It really depends on the tactics and ideas
of the manager. As long as they have Beckham in the team, England will always have a
chance of making progress."
---------------------------------
[14] And the Graz coach said
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Graz coach Ivica Osim: "You can't really compare our players with theirs. You also
can't compare Manchester United with any of the other sides we have beaten here this
season like Rangers and Monaco. They are just much better."
---------------------------------
[13] Fergie adds to that
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
"It's always good to win a game like this simply because it gives us six points going
into the break - and by the time we come back, hopefully we will have everyone fit. We
should have Jaap Stam and Andy Cole available by then. It was a good result for us in
Graz and that's the result we wanted. Now, obviously our double-header against
Valencia will have a bearing on who wins this section. If we get a win and a draw like
we did last year, we will be happy. We've got 10 weeks or so to look forward to the
next part of the challenge and hopefully we can maintain our form."
---------------------------------
[12] Keane - we're back to our best
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
"You need to get good performances away from home and hopefully this will be the start
of it. We realise how close we were to going out of the competition when that lad
missed that chance in the last few minutes of the Dynamo Kiev game. We nearly came
unstuck in that game and we nearly went out of the Champions League.
Hopefully we've learnt from that and you can't keep relying on our results at Old
Trafford, where our record is so good. Because if you do you're going to come unstuck
against some of these decent teams. But I thought this was a very professional
performance. Sturm Graz have a decent record at home and 2-0 away from home is not
bad."
---------------------------------
[11] Pre-season now confirmed
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
The Aussies (see earlier story) didn't get their wish then.
"The tour will be considered pre-season training, and not an end of season party,"
said chief executive Peter Kenyon. Which is stating the bleeding obvious considering
it's in pre-season and not at the end of season!
The opening match will be played in Kuala Lumpur on July 21, followed by fixtures in
Singapore on July 24 and Bangkok on July 28.
Kenyon added: "It will be the first team squad, and it will be Sir Alex's choice of
what will be the line-up. With the 100 per cent likelihood it will be the last season
with Sir Alex in charge there will be an enormous level of commitment from this team."
Tour organisers, ProEvents Singapore, said a match against the Singapore national side
has been ruled out, and the football associations in Thailand and Malaysia would make
their own announcements later.
"We are trying to secure the best possible team", ProEvents managing director John
Merrit said. A Football Association of Singapore spokesman said the side "will contain
local elements," but he refused to be drawn on how many players would be imported for
the one-off fixture.
---------------------------------
[10] Catch up lads
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
As you'll notice later with the press confirming details of the pre-season dates that
(thanks to Chris) we gave over a week ago, the press now go with Souness' 'too risky'
quotes about signing Henning Berg. He has added to that though...
"We are still talking...We've got to remember the fact we are still in the First
Division and the kind of money we lost in our last financial year, so I'm trying to
be sensible in what I'm doing. Henning has been at Manchester United, who are the
biggest payers in the land, and there's also still talk of transfer fees being
abolished."
---------------------------------
[9] Group standings for Champions League
---------------------------------
Posted Thursday, December 7, 2000 by bar-knee:
Group A - Pts
Man United 6
Valencia CF 4
Panathinaikos 1
Sturm Graz 0
