Kind of old hat actually, comes from here, (posted a year or so ago...)
http://www.bahneman.com/liem/blog/article.php?story=Ken_Rockwell_Facts
(The reason for the K** R*******? I really couldn't live with myself if
I contributed to his internet fame with Google search hits...)
Godfrey DiGiorgi wrote:
May I preface this that I don't know K** R*******, I've never been to
his website, and I only know of him through the continuous jibes and
guffaws posted on the PDML (and through my brother). But when I saw
this on DPR in one of the forums, I had to laugh ... Only a true
genius would have such amazing name recognition ...
-----
K** R******* is the Chuck Norris of photography.
K** R*******'s camera has similar settings to ours, except his are:
P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic].
K** R******* doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
Sure, K** R******* deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these
Pulitzers..
K** R******* doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
Circle of confusion? You might be confused. K** R******* never is.
K** R******* doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape -
the light waits for him..
K** R******* never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the
earth.
K** R******* ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
K** R******* is the only person to have photographed Jesus;
unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth
instead..
When K** R******* brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win
first place in three different categories.
Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask
him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less
good get a Canon sticker.
Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this
one,thats how Pentax was born.
Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think
once.
K** R******* doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
Only K** R******* can take pictures of K** R*******; everyone else
would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius.
K** R******* wanted something to distract the lesser photographers,
and lo, there were ducks..
K** R******* is the only one who can take self-portraits of you.
K** R*******'s nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure.
K** R******* once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble
Space Telescope..
When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
K** R*******'s portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes.
On K** R*******'s desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National
Geographic Magazine.
K** R******* spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d".
When K** R******* went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of
business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos.
For every 10 shots that K** R******* takes, 11 are keepers.
K** R*******'s digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
K** R******* never focuses, everything moves into his DoF.
K** R*******'s shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned Photoshop for
him: all it consists of is a close button..
The term tripod was coined after his silhouette.
K** R******* never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the
viewer.
A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the
quality was a lot "like a" rockwell.
K** R******* isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is
the K** R******* of martial arts..
K** R******* never starts, he continues.
-----
enjoy
G
--
The free man owns himself. He can damage himself with either eating or
drinking; he can ruin himself with gambling. If he does he is certainly a damn
fool, and he might possibly be a damned soul; but if he may not, he is not a
free man any more than a dog.
--G. K. Chesterton
--
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