Why did the Chicken cross the road? 

GEORGE W. BUSH: 
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want To know if 
the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or 
it is against us. There is no middle ground here. 

AL GORE: 
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing 
the road represented the application of these two different functions of 
government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the 
American people. 

RALPH NADER: 
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by 
unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat 
on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a 
gas-guzzling SUV. 

PAT BUCHANAN: 
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American. 

RUSH LIMBAUGH: 
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a 
government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already 
forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can 
you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens 
crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, 
I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads 
for chickens to cross. 

DR. SEUSS: 
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken 
crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told! 

ERNEST HEMINGWAY 
To die. In the rain. Alone. 

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. 
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without 
having their motives called into question. 

GRANDPA: 
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that 
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. 

BARBARA WALTERS 
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken 
tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a 
serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of 
crossing the road. 

JOHN LENNON 
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace. 

ARISTOTLE 
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. 

KARL MARX 
It was a historical inevitability. 

SADDAM HUSSEIN 
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 
50 tons of nerve gas on it. 

VOLTAIRE 
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its 
right to do it. 

RONALD REAGAN 
What chicken? 

CAPTAIN KIRK 
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. 

FOX MULDER 
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to 
cross before you believe it? 

SIGMUND FREUD 
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road 
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. 

BILL GATES 
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will 
lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and 
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. 

MARTHA STEWART 
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing 
order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a 
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. 

ALBERT EINSTEIN 
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? 

BILL CLINTON 
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could 
you define chicken, please? 

THE BIBLE 
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt 
cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much 
rejoicing. 

COLONEL SANDERS 
I missed one?


 
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