-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Re: intaxication had me rolling
Date: Sun, 20 Jan 2008 00:39:18 -0600
From: Susan Smith Ross <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
*Each year, the WashingtonPost's hosts a Mensa Invitational in which
they ask readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it
by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter - and supply a
new definition. *
* *
*The winners are:*
* *
* 1. Cashtration(n.):*
* The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the*
*subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. *
* *
* 2. Ignoranus : *
* A person who is both stupid and an asshole. *
* *
* 3 Intaxication:*
* Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you *
*realize that it was your money to start with.*
* *
* 4. Reintarnation: *
* Coming back to life as a hillbilly. *
* *
* 5. Bozone (n.):*
* The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright*
*ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future. *
* *
* 6. Foreploy : *
* Any misrepresentationabout yourself for the purpose of *
*getting laid.*
* *
* 7. Giraffiti:*
* Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.*
* *
* 8. Sarchasm :*
* The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person *
*who doesn't get it.*
* *
* 9. Inoculatte:*
* To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.*
* *
* 10. Hipatitis :*
* Terminal coolness.*
* *
* 11. Osteopornosis:*
* A degenerate disease. * * (This one got extra credit.) *
* *
* 12. Karmageddon:*
* It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes,*
*and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.*
* *
* 13. Decafalon(n.):*
* The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only
things that are good for you. *
* *
* 14. Glibido :*
* All talk and no action.*
* *
* 15. Dopeler effect:*
* The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at
you rapidly.*
* *
* 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): *
* The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally* *
walked through a spider web.*
* *
* 17. Beelzebug (n.):*
* Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at
three in the morning and cannot be cast out. *
* *
* 18. Caterpallor (n.):*
* The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit*
*you're eating.*
* *
*The WashingtonPost has also published the winning submissions to
its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply
alternate meanings for commonwords. *
* *
*And the winners are:*
* *
* 1. Coffee, n.*
* The person upon whom one coughs.*
* *
* 2. Flabbergasted , adj.*
* Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.*
* *
* 3. Abdicate, v. *
* To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.*
* *
* 4. Esplanade , v. *
* To attempt an explanationwhile drunk.*
* *
* 5. Willy-Nilly, adj.*
* Impotent.*
* *
* 6. Negligent , adj.*
* Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a* *nightgown.*
* *
* 7. Lymph, v. *
* To walk with a lisp.*
* *
* 8. Gargoyle , n.*
* Olive-flavored mouthwash.*
* *
* 9. Flatulence , n.*
* Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by
a steamroller. *
* *
* 10. Balderdash , n.*
* A rapidly receding hairline.*
* *
* 11. Testicle, n.*
* A humorous questiononan exam.*
* *
* 12. Rectitude , n.*
* The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. *
* *
* 13. Pokemon, n.*
* A Rastafarian proctologist.*
* *
* 14. Oyster , n.*
* A personwho sprinkles his conversationwith Yiddishisms.*
* *
* 15. Frisbeetarianism, n.*
* The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof*
*and gets stuck there.*
* *
* 16. Circumvent , n.*
* An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. *
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