Tango-L/ Social-ethical behaviors and protocols.
“Are there any traditional unspoken rules at Buenos Aires’ Milongas [or elsewhere] regarding how accompanied women …” (Proper conduct ignored. Cultural differences?) A very touchy and timely tread, indeed! What I am about to relate could be relevant to cultural differences and ignorance of proper dancing codes at the milonga. Or, perhaps, a personal experience irrelevant to the milonga. You be the judge. Recently, I went to a milonga with my ex-girlfriend, (an experienced milonguera) in this city in mid Florida. We both knew most of the other dancers and they were familiar with us and our relationship except for few (3 or 4) new guests. That night, I got to dance only one tanda with her as she danced again and again with a newcomer (unknown to me), enthusiastically talking while waiting during the cortinas. She showed an evident flirtatious attitude (accommodating her hair with both arms up, and other well known seductive gestures and postures). She walked several times to where the gentleman was sitting and invited him to dance. In addition, he danced almost exclusively with her. I was astonished by her behavior and began steaming up. She got offended later on after the dance, when I tried to discuss her behavior at the milonga. She categorically denied my observations, refused to discuss the issue arguing that she did not know what I was talking about and that "I'm an insecure man." Then, she sabotaged our relationship by being angry, refusing any reasonable dialog, arguing that she had to “lick her wounds.” We broke up two days later. Although all this may be irrelevant to the tread, what is interesting to point out, is the fact that I was judged to be an angry, judgmental, jealous, and controlling man by few of her close friends who, considered that she had done nothing wrong. On the other hand, some other dancers, shared my opinion; according to them she had exhibited tactless, inconsiderate, and even improper behavior, placing me in a humiliating position; all of this aggravated by her subsequent inability to have a rational discussion, adopting a defensive, haughty, and resentful stance. Nicetune _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list Tango-L@mit.edu http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l