December Already!
Get Me to the Church on Time
The wedding season is here again. Every society has its favourite time of year for getting married, and in Uganda December is the month. So every Saturday till the end of the year, beribboned motorcades will be a common sight on our roads.
This December wedding rush seems to stem from our habit of setting vague targets and then rushing to hit them as the deadline approaches. It all starts with the young man visiting the young woman’s parents to be officially introduced. The introduction is essential so that whatever happens to the girl while in your company or your house, for that matter, police will not be called in since "her parents know him".
Many men therefore take that official introduction, at which they give gifts to the future in-laws, as a licence to start having babies with the girl and live with her in their house as if officially married. What parents do to guard against their daughter ending up "on probation" indefinitely is to press for a wedding date to be set before the young man’s party take their leave after the introduction.
The young man’s party, which includes a spokesman, tries to bargain the date as far into the future as possible. The girl’s parents’ side insists on bringing it as near as possible. They make such offers as to pay for the bride’s wedding dress, to transport her relatives to and from the functions, all in order to ensure the groom’s side cannot use expense as an excuse for not having an early wedding.
In the end, the two parties vaguely agree that the wedding must be held before the end of the year. The young man’s side sigh with relief, believing that they have succeeded into getting the in-laws off their backs.
But as surely as night follows day, every year must come to an end. What seemed like many months away suddenly looms, just weeks away. A flurry of meetings is arranged. Contributions are solicited. Friends are caught in the confusion, as several people you know invite you for their wedding preparations, expecting a lot of contribution in cash and organisational labour.
The couple of months before December record an increase of group meetings at pubs. They all follow the same tired format: A chairman who always arrives ahead of the rest and starts "fining" them for lateness; a basket passed around all the time; highly priced refreshments; pledges; minutes of the previous meeting; updates on honoured pledges and the final allocation of duties on the wedding day.
Another business that picks up at this time is physical fitness for ladies. On evenings when they don’t have to attend meetings, the brides-to-be visit health clubs for aerobics or a workout session at the gym. They diet and do everything possible to get their weight down. The men don’t do much about their appearance. A visit to the barber on the morning of the wedding is all they need to look acceptable.
As the wedding meetings come to a close, the couple realises that they will never attain the huge budget they have come up with. The wedding must be scaled down if it is to take place at all. The 15 cars are cut to three, the 500 guests to 100.
As a result, the December weddings tend to be smaller because they are more numerous with fewer contributors being spread all around. At church, several couples are wed in one service. Those who don’t want to be mixed with others have to book a separate service. You end up with several services, all trying to beat the six o’clock deadline beyond which a wedding in this country is not recognised. All that matters is that the ultimate target is hit – the couple manages to be married before the end of the year.
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Joachim Buwembo is Editor of The Sunday Vision of Kampala.
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