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Two suitors, one bride and a low libidoBy BEAUTTAH OMANGA
When she found herself with two marriage proposals, one from a wealthy but much older and allegedly impotent suitor, and the other from a younger but virile one, Emily Kerubo had no doubt about who she wanted. She chose the latter. It did not matter that the older man had already paid dowry to her parents, bought her a wedding dress and arranged for their honeymoon in the United States. When the 31-year-old primary school teacher in Kisii discovered that her husband-to-be had a low libido, she immediately called off plans for the wedding. The matter now threatens to split her family apart, with her parents threatening to curse her for refusing to marry a man whose dowry they had already accepted, and spent. But Kerubo is adamant. She has written to a church pastor and repeated her position to her parents, relatives and even a District Officer. She wants instead to be allowed to marry David Morang'a, a teacher who is six years younger than she is. Kerubo met the older man last year, after having heard about him from her aunt. He had just returned home from the United States, she was told, and was looking for a woman to marry. They met three months later in Kisii. "He discussed our wedding plans with my parents, but it was decided that there be further consultations after a month. In the meantime, my friends advised me to get to know better this man that I was about to marry. So I visited him in Nairobi, where he works," explains Kerubo. She had already heard rumours about his low libido from his relatives, and wanted to find out if this was true. She had initially planned to visit for two weeks but ended up staying longer. "I extended my stay to see if he would make a move like any normal man would. When he tried, my fears were finally confirmed. I went back home and confided in my mother about the man’s biological problem and my reluctance to go on with the wedding plans." But if she had hoped for support from her mother, Emily was in for a rude shock. "She would none of it. Instead, she advised me to marry the man "even for three days and then go for a divorce". So she sought help from the pastor, who asked her to make a written statement, which he showed to her parents. She also cautioned her parents against accepting any dowry. But soon afterwards, Kerubo heard that the man had gone to her parents' home and paid Sh100,000 cash, two cows and a goat for dowry, and promised another Sh20,000. The church began to publish banns of marriage, and a pre-wedding party was planned for August 17. When Kerubo failed to attend the party, she was asked to go home and explain her position to her suitor. But she was suspicious that it was a plan to abduct her and decided instead to seek help from the provincial administration. Kisii DO 1, Mr Christopher Musumbu, summoned Emily's parents , who are elders at the Kisii Central SDA church. They accused her of being dishonest. "How can you refuse to marry a man who has paid dowry and bought an air ticket for your honeymoon in the USA, and instead go for one who is the age of your younger brother?" her mother asked. Her father was more concerned with moral issues. "How could have our daughter known about the man’s impotence yet she was not officially married?" he asked. Eventually, the DO advised the family to call off the wedding and give each other time to calm down, then revisit the issue. But Kerubo insisted she had already made up her mind. She would return the dress and all the other things that had been bought for the wedding. Morang'a was delighted by the turn of events. "I am happy that the other man is impotent and he never tampered with her," he declared. She said she had no apologies to make blaming her parents for the debacle. The would have been bridegroom who works in Nairobi would not be reached for comment. |
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