For this wedding sermon, the names of those to be married have been changed to John and Jane for privacy reasons.
Intro John and Jane, when you later make your vows today, pay close attention to what you will say. For the vows you will make will not easy or light. They will be most serious. Yet, you won’t vow to do what is beyond your control. You won’t make vows that promise that you will always feel a certain way. I know you two love each other--and that’s good! But your vows won’t promise that you will always have that “in-love” feeling. They won’t promise that you will always be happy, or have warm, fuzzy feelings that will never wither or become weak. Those are emotions--and marriage vows are not pledges of emotion, but pledges based on outward actions. Main Body Before God, in His holy house, I will ask you what you intend to do, not what you will always feel. John, will you have Jane as your wife? Jane, will you have John as your husband? Will you remain with each other, even unto death? You will make those vows today not knowing what may happen, whether in prosperity or adversity, even unto death. Unto death: That’s serious, isn’t it? It should be. That's because part of you dies today: the old part, the individual part, the self. “Till death us do part,” you both will vow. But marriage isn’t the death of fun. Marriage isn’t the death of freedom. For you, today may even be the beginning of true fun and true freedom. But marriage is a death, nonetheless; it is a death to yourself and to your self-seeking ways. Today you will say, “for better, for worse.” And yet when “worse” comes, you may be tempted to think that this marriage has given you more than you asked for, more than you can take. It’s then, especially then, that you need to die. It’s then that you die to self, so you each can live in love and respect toward the other. “Unto death” not only means unto death: It even means through sickness, poverty, mood swings, quarrels, household chores, and a leaky roof. It means suffering for each other. It means bearing each other’s burdens and pains. For marriage is serious, as serious as death! God created marriage long ago for our own benefit. Marriage is a mystery like the Church Herself. And we have no better picture of this than the words we heard from holy Scripture. We heard that “Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word.” Yes, Christ gave Himself up for you by dying for you. He did so because you needed Him to, for your eternal well-being. For it’s in His death that Jesus paid the penalties for your sins to free you to live in Him. “Husbands, love your wives,” in the same way that Jesus loves His Church. John, if need be, go all the way to death for Jane, even if she’s a sinner, which she is! But all the same, forgive Jane, die to yourself, and love her as Christ loves the Church. And wives, “Submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” That’s not going to be easy. Jane, many times you might think you know better. You might think that if the Apostle Paul had only known John, he wouldn’t have written that “submit” part. Not so! It’s especially during those times, Jane, that you need to remember those words. For that is how you die, die to yourself, and live, respecting your husband. In all of this, notice how the Lord is in the thick of it all. He doesn’t just say, “Submit to your husband; love your wife.” He says, “submit to your husband as to the Lord.” And He says, “Love your wife just as Christ loved the Church.” That’s why the vows and promises you make to each other are but a copy of the vows and promises Jesus has made to you. Every word you say to God--and to each other about who you will be in your marriage--Christ has already said and done for you! For both of you are, first of all, Christ’s holy, beloved, and purest Bride. God has received you in the waters of holy baptism, placed His Name on you, and brought you into His life. God has loved you and comforted you. He has honored and kept you. He has been faithful even unto death, death on a cross. This He does out of His divine goodness and mercy--not because of any merit or worthiness in you. Why is God’s love toward you so remarkable? It's because His love for you doesn’t grow based on the way that you treat Him, or make Him feel. God love isn’t based on feeling “in-love”; instead, He does the hard work of loving you. For God’s love isn’t an emotion; it’s an action and a promise. It’s not conditional, fickle, or fleeting. It's based on who He is as God. His love, His reckless forgiveness, His wish for you to be His, and to enjoy His blessings at His expense--He shows all that to you in the life-giving death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. That’s what makes sinners saints. That’s what makes you, John and Jane, holy in God’s sight. And that’s also the way of Christian marriage. For this is the truth: you won’t keep your promises like Jesus keeps His. You’ll try--and you should try with all your being--but you’ll also mess up. Your sins will hurt others, especially those whom you love. Jane, your sins will most especially hurt John. John, your sins will most especially hurt Jane. But God’s forgiveness and compassion, His grace and unwavering love, will strengthen you to forgive, love, and respect. When you are living in God’s grace, He frees you to do what you have vowed. You are freed to be faithful, freed to love, freed to respect, and most of all, freed to be forgiving. Even when your feelings have left for a season, even when you hurt or feel embarrassed, let the love of Christ be strong enough in your lives to enable you to live out Christ’s forgiveness to each other. Conclusion It’s in that power of forgiveness that you can turn and say, “I forgive you. And I ask you to forgive me.” That’s when you’ll be dead, dead to yourself and alive to God and each other. And then--in those moments when you die to your selfishness--you will be most alive together in Christ, even as He is risen from the dead and lives and reigns to all eternity. Live with each other in such forgiveness. For that’s who you are in Christ Jesus. Amen. -- Rich Futrell, Pastor Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran Church, Kimberling City, MO Where we are to receive and confess the faith of the Church (in and with the Augsburg Confession): The faith once delivered to the saints, the faith of Christ Jesus, His Word of the Gospel, His full forgiveness of sins, His flesh and blood given and poured out for us, and His gracious gift of life for body, soul, and spirit. ___________________________________________________________________ 'CAT 41 Sermons & Devotions' consists of works that are, unless otherwise noted, the copyrighted property of the various authors; posting of such gives members of this list implied consent for redistribution _with_attribution_ unless otherwise specified by the author (as long as no charge is made for the work and it is not made part of a compilation), as well as for quoting or use in a congregational setting _with_or_without_attribution_. Note: This list's default reply is to the *poster*, NOT the list. 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