Hmm. After poking around for awhile, I found /proc/self/cmdline which,
at the moment, displays:

cat                              <
>           [EMAIL PROTECTED]          |    University of Texas at Austin   <
>         [EMAIL PROTECTED]        |      Freshman, Computer Science    <
>              ICQ: 15709478             |      Orientation Advisor, 1999     <
>    http://www.bigfoot.com/~nolan_d/    |                                    <
`-----------------------------------------------------------------------------'
                              Humor in the Court:
               Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
                            A: I could see his head.
                           Q: And where was his head?
                          A: Just above his shoulders.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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