Tell kids they're smart, and they'll get reluctant to take on
anything that may expose them as not so smart. Makes sense.
http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/
How Not to Talk to Your Kids: The Inverse Power of Praise.
By Po Bronson
What do we make of a boy like Thomas?
Thomas (his middle name) is a fifth-grader at the highly competitive
P.S. 334, the Anderson School on West 84th. Slim as they get, Thomas
recently had his long sandy-blond hair cut short to look like the new
James Bond (he took a photo of Daniel Craig to the barber). Unlike
Bond, he prefers a uniform of cargo pants and a T-shirt emblazoned
with a photo of one of his heroes: Frank Zappa. Thomas hangs out with
five friends from the Anderson School. They are “the smart kids.”
Thomas’s one of them, and he likes belonging.
Since Thomas could walk, he has heard constantly that he’s smart.
Not just from his parents but from any adult who has come in contact
with this precocious child. When he applied to Anderson for
kindergarten, his intelligence was statistically confirmed. The
school is reserved for the top one percent of all applicants, and an
IQ test is required. Thomas didn’t just score in the top one
percent. He scored in the top one percent of the top one percent.
But as Thomas has progressed through school, this self-awareness that
he’s smart hasn’t always translated into fearless confidence when
attacking his schoolwork. In fact, Thomas’s father noticed just the
opposite. “Thomas didn’t want to try things he wouldn’t be
successful at,” his father says. “Some things came very quickly to
him, but when they didn’t, he gave up almost immediately,
concluding, ‘I’m not good at this.’ ” With no more than a
glance, Thomas was dividing the world into two—things he was
naturally good at and things he wasn’t.
For instance, in the early grades, Thomas wasn’t very good at
spelling, so he simply demurred from spelling out loud. When Thomas
took his first look at fractions, he balked. The biggest hurdle came
in third grade. He was supposed to learn cursive penmanship, but he
wouldn’t even try for weeks. By then, his teacher was demanding
homework be completed in cursive. Rather than play catch-up on his
penmanship, Thomas refused outright. Thomas’s father tried to reason
with him. “Look, just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you
don’t have to put out some effort.” (Eventually, he mastered
cursive, but not without a lot of cajoling from his father.)
Why does this child, who is measurably at the very top of the charts,
lack confidence about his ability to tackle routine school challenges?
Thomas is not alone. For a few decades, it’s been noted that a large
percentage of all gifted students (those who score in the top 10
percent on aptitude tests) severely underestimate their own
abilities. Those afflicted with this lack of perceived competence
adopt lower standards for success and expect less of themselves. They
underrate the importance of effort, and they overrate how much help
they need from a parent.
When parents praise their children’s intelligence, they believe they
are providing the solution to this problem. According to a survey
conducted by Columbia University, 85 percent of American parents
think it’s important to tell their kids that they’re smart. In and
around the New York area, according to my own (admittedly
nonscientific) poll, the number is more like 100 percent. Everyone
does it, habitually. The constant praise is meant to be an angel on
the shoulder, ensuring that children do not sell their talents short.
But a growing body of research—and a new study from the trenches of
the New York public-school system—strongly suggests it might be the
other way around. Giving kids the label of “smart” does not
prevent them from underperforming. It might actually be causing it.
...
--
Kiran Jonnalagadda
http://jace.seacrow.com/
