Ode I gotta agree with you. My parents were pretty strict with us, but the "baby" of the family was a different story.
My youngest sister figured out that my mother was afraid of the "empty nest". At sixteen she moved out of the house and into the home of her boyfriend. She told my parents "I am not moving back until you buy me a car". You cannot imagine HOW astonished my two other sisters, and I were! If we had done that my parents would have said "fine, have it your way". Instead they went out and bought her a Mazda 626. For that time period it was a VERY nice car. Through the years it has been one demand after another. Now for the folks who think it is incredibly mean and heartless to demand your children respect you and that parents should cave into demands and give bribes for good behavior or love... I'd like to share what happened to my youngest sister. Not that I am a saint by any stretch of the imagination. I was a rebellious youth, but I waited until I was on my own to experiment with alternative lifestyles. I learned pretty quickly I did *not* want to live that way. Six months of living on rice and eggs and having to roll pennies for gas money put a whole new perspective on the druggie lifestyle. I then joined the Navy for the next 8 years. My youngest sister did not fare so well. My parents continued to spoil her. As an adult they began to pay all her bills while she worked and kept her money for herself....in her own apartment! She married a solder, got pregnant and when the baby was 3 months old left the solder. She moved in with a boy of 17 years old in HIS MOTHER'S HOME. They were both partying hardy when the father of the baby sued for custody. My mother bailed my sister out of that trouble. Then my sister gave the baby to another sister (there are 4 girls one boy) for 6-9 months. My youngest sister then led a real life of debauchery in Washington DC. She realized suddenly that she missed her son who was in Indiana. She took him from a good home to live with her lover AND her lesbian friends. My mother found pictures of the orgies that took place. And CONTINUED to foot the bills. Eventually my youngest sister had two more children. All with different fathers, and played at being a "escort" and stayed on drugs and on and on and on. She is 39 and has never changed. Each time someone tries to step in to show her she needs to change, my mom is quick to run to her defense. My parents have no time for any of the other grandchildren because they are always taking care of my sisters children. They don't participate in the lives of any of their other children because they are caught up in the drama of the youngest. My heart breaks because she was the cutest sweetest thing. My parents ruined her. Lori -----Original Message----- From: Ode Coyote [mailto:odecoy...@alltel.net] Sent: Monday, May 09, 2005 8:21 AM To: silver-list@eskimo.com Subject: Re: CS>Re: silver-digest: Uncontrolable granddaughter When the baby bird becomes too demanding, loudly squalking that they know everything and wants to grab all the worms...Momma bird gives baby bird a little nudge. Baby bird discovers what it is to fly or die. 16 year olds can legally emancipate themselves, or a parent can 'emancipate' them. Squalking is a declaration of independence. Honor it or suffer. Your choice. "Controlling" others is a study in frustration. Controlling you is your only real choice. If that requires excluding another from your peaceful environment to maintain it..as demanded..so be it. [You can always sent em a peanut butter sandwich/tattered blanket/tent just before they starve or freeze. Providing steak is counterproductive] Teanagers should run the world while they still know everything. Old people forget in the face of reality. If someone insists that they're right..they are. Finding out 'how' right is 'their' job and they'll have to do it...you can't. Your job is done. ...so, you want an SUV? OK cool..go buy one. End of story...go play 'your' harp in the yard and see how well the rain keeps it in tune. No problem. PS Give back that old rusty trusty Toyota...I'll drive it. ..anyone who fucks with my head at the mall gets to walk home. [They might find the locks changed and a sleeping bag on the door step with a 'take a hike' note pinned to it.] Go find another airstrip baby, you ain't flying that crap through MY head space. [Where "I" am the traffic controller.] I can always love ya from a distance..and eventually will anyhow 'if and when' you grow up. ['They' determine how far away that is and when.] Ya can't buy and sell love, especially with abuse as the currency. If you accept an exchange like that..YOU'RE the turkey on a learning curve. [Gee whiz! Step aside and let that crosswind blow by!] Nothing that anyone 'says' can MAKE you feel ANYTHING..unless you volunteer victimhood. Who's wearing a sign that says, "Kick me and MAKE me cry"? Well, kick ME and you'll see just how fast I'm not at the end of your foot. [Was that a sonic boom?] You'll look pretty stupid standing there with one foot in the air, I'll betcha. [and nary an SUV to stand on] Now you wanna hate me? OK, your choice. [Not something I can control...that's YOUR headspace.] Your game, your rules...I ain't playin. Go have the fun that you defined for yourself. Ode At 12:57 PM 5/7/2005 -0500, you wrote: > >Hi, >I have been on this list forever and make colloidal silver and this >list has so many wise people on it that was wondering what list that I >could go to that would help us know what to do with my granddaughter >who will be 16 soon. It is not just being a teenager since she has >always had a bad character. She makes my daughter miserable and she >told her that she didn't love her or her father any more and that all >she wants from them is financial support. They just bought another >house in a upscale neighborhood, she said she was ashamed to have >friends over to her other house. She harped and harped on this and now >it is a suv, her other friends that have turned >16 have a used SUV. It's like she gets in my daughter's ear and repeats >the same thing over and over. She is beautiful and is good in sports >and makes good grades. My daughter teaches at the high school that she goes to. >Last night she called my daughter at 10 PM and wanted her to come and >get her at her friends house and she didn't do this and this morning >when she picked her up she started in on the suv again. They had gone >to a store and granddaughter called her a "dumb but) loud enough for >people to hear. This is so severe that my daughter called me this >morning crying and said that she made her so miserable that she wishes >she had never been born. Her father is a military man and tends to >ground her for long periods which punishes my daughter also to have her >around all the time. He wanted to ground her last week and I got into >it and told my daughter that if you are too strict sometimes it >backfires and she begged him not to ground her, I probably should not >have gotten into it. In the halls at the school she told my daughter >that she wasn't going to swim practice to be a life guard and she told >her she wasn't going and she told her she had to and granddaughter >looked at her real mean and said Make Me. Well she did go because her >father picked her up and took her. She doesn't mess with him and says >she hates him. Now this is a normal family in ever other way she has >two younger sisters and my daughter says if it wasn't for them she >would think she was a total failure. Talking to a Psychologist would >not be the thing because she knows it all and would not talk to him, I >think she needs medication. HELP Sorry for this long post > >Mary H. >----- Original Message ----- >From: <silver-digest-requ...@eskimo.com> >To: <silver-dig...@eskimo.com> >Sent: Saturday, May 07, 2005 5:51 AM >Subject: silver-digest Digest V2005 #310 > > > >-- >The Silver List is a moderated forum for discussing Colloidal Silver. > >Instructions for unsubscribing are posted at: http://silverlist.org > >To post, address your message to: silver-list@eskimo.com Silver List >archive: http://escribe.com/health/thesilverlist/index.html > >Address Off-Topic messages to: silver-off-topic-l...@eskimo.com OT >Archive: http://escribe.com/health/silverofftopiclist/index.html > >List maintainer: Mike Devour <mdev...@eskimo.com> > > > > >-- >No virus found in this incoming message. >Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. >Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.11.6 - Release Date: 5/6/2005 > > -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.11.7 - Release Date: 5/9/2005
