Thank you John.

I am OK with your edits 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 8 and 11.

I don't understand your point about 3.

For 7, it should say "A configuration option indicating...".

For 9, I'll have to defer to Rohan and Cullen because I find it
confusing too.

For 10, I believe that it would work if an upstream evil B2BUA does
topology hiding since the proxy uses the Via in the Request and not the 
Path in the response.



> -----Original Message-----
> From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On 
> Behalf Of Elwell, John
> Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 07:01
> To: IETF SIP List
> Subject: [Sip] Review of sip-outbound-13
> 
> I think this is ready to go if the following minor comments are
> addressed:
> 
> 1. "This
>    specification also defines multiple keep alive schemes."
> Change "multiple" to "two".
> 
> 2. "A Flow is a network protocol layer (layer 4) association"
> Change "network" to "transport".
> 
> 3. "One case where a UA may not want to include
>    the sip.instance media feature tag at all is when it is making an
>    anonymous request or some other privacy concern requires 
> that the UA
>    not reveal its identity."
> There is no statement about what should be done in this case.
> 
> 4. "These registration requests include a distinct reg-id parameter in
>    the Contact header field."
> I think some normative language is needed here. Perhaps change to:
> "For registration requests in accordance with outbound 
> behaviour, the UA MUST include a distinct reg-id parameter in 
> the Contact header field."
> 
> 5. "the target first
>    hop SIP note"
> Change "note" to "node".
> 
> 6. "as this is already allowed by
>    [RFC3261].  Section 7.5, however a UA that did not register using
>    outbound registration"
> I think this should say
> "as this is already allowed by
>    [RFC3261] section 7.5. However, a UA that did not register using
>    outbound registration"
> 
> 7. "Configuration indicating keepalive support for a specific 
> target is
>    considered an explicit indication.  If these conditions are
>    satisfied, the UA sends its keepalives according to the same
>    guidelines described in the rest of this section as UAs which
>    register."
> I don't understand the meaning of the first sentence. Is it 
> trying to say that configuration is an alternative way of 
> determining support for keepalive?
> 
> 8. "For devices where power is
>    not a significant concern, the UA SHOULD select a random number
>    between 95 and 120 seconds between keepalives.  When 
> battery power is
>    a concern, the UA SHOULD select a random number between 672 and 840
>    seconds (14 minutes).  These times MAY be configurable."
> The last sentence seems to undermine the previous SHOULD 
> strength statements. Also, what exactly can be configurable - 
> just the upper and lower bounds? I don't think, for example, 
> we are proposing to allow somebody to configure say 180 
> seconds as both upper and lower bounds (not a range, no 
> randomisation). So I think it is the bounds that can be 
> configurable, and even then the 20% difference must be maintained.
> Perhaps it should say something like:
> "The UA MUST select a random number between a fixed or 
> configurable upper bound and a lower bound, where the lower 
> bound is 20% less then the upper bound. The fixed upper bound 
> or the default configurable upper bound SHOULD be 120 seconds 
> (95 seconds lower bound) where battery power is not a concern 
> and 840 seconds (672 seconds lower bound) where battery power 
> is a concern."
> 
> 9. "The delay time is computed by selecting a uniform random 
> time between
>    50 and 100 percent of the wait time.  The UA MUST wait for 
> the value
>    of the delay time before trying another registration to form a new
>    flow for that URI."
> I find this a little confusing. The several paragraphs before 
> that have all talked about wait time, or time to wait, which 
> suggests that that is how long you wait before trying 
> registration again. Then we suddenly have this "delay time" 
> introduced, and it says that "UA MUST wait for the value of 
> the delay time before trying another registration". It might 
> be better to introduce the concept of delay time and wait 
> time up front. Furthermore, it is not clear whether the delay 
> time (between 50 and 100 percent of the wait time) starts 
> when the wait time starts or when the wait time finishes. I 
> think the examples given in the succeeding paragraph suggest 
> it is the former interpretation. In any case, it needs to be 
> clarified.
> 
> 10. "The Edge Proxy can determine
>    if it is the first hop by examining the Via header field."
> Does this still work in the case of topology hiding by an 
> upstream entity?
> 
> 11. "When a '+sip.instance' media feature parameter is present in a
>    Contact header field of a REGISTER request (after the 
> Contact header
>    validation as described above), the corresponding binding 
> is between
>    an AOR and the combination of the instance-id (from the 
> +sip.instance
>    media feature parameter) and the value of reg-id parameter if it is
>    present."
> I think the normative statements that follow are only 
> concerned with the case where reg-id is present, so I think 
> it should be changed to:
> "When a '+sip.instance' media feature parameter and a reg-id 
> parameter are present in a
>    Contact header field of a REGISTER request (after the 
> Contact header
>    validation as described above), the corresponding binding 
> is between
>    an AOR and the combination of the instance-id (from the 
> +sip.instance
>    media feature parameter) and the value of reg-id parameter."
> 
> John
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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