hey, want to see sloan's chris murphy get slammed by his good friends in
hip club groove? also making an appearance in this brief encounter are
drew and marc from len, greig from treble charger, and the ever bubbly
jesse s. proudfoot, of the galapagos raygun. it all began with a
seemingly innocent question...
tara: hey you know the local rabbits?
cory: yeah, we toured with them.
tara: do you guys like them? do you know their big song, "you're such a
stupid idiot"?
drew: i don't like it.
tara: you don't like it?
greig: what was it about?
tara: it's about...chris murphy.
greig: oh really?
tara: no, i don't know. "25 alright" is about chris murphy though.
derek: everything is about chris murphy though. we have a song called
"motherfucker, you suck ass", it's about chris murphy.
tara: why don't you tell everybody about the fight you had with chris
murphy and murderecords?
cory: well, the first fight we had with him was in a van, when we were
making the deal, but the best fight was when we played porter hall this
february. he decided he was gonna come on stage with us during the song
"jizz" so as he came up on stage, derek was drunk, this was when derek
was drinking for every show, turned around and punched him. he fell and
then i seen it happening. chris thought it was funny and tried to wrestle
with derek, i ran as fast as i could, derek moved out of the way, i
clotheslined him and we beat him down for a while and then when he got up
he was all beat and brian came in with a pitcher of draft and dumped it
on his head, opened up the can of shaving cream, pulled it all over him
and he was standing there, pathetic, looking like a tarred and feather, i
don't know, briar rabbit or something. and then while he was lying down
like after we knocked him down again we rolled him off the stage, we
kicked him off and told him never to come back on.
and he did the same thing in halifax at birdland one time during
our gig with furnace face. he tried to crawl up on the stage so we
kicked him as hard as we could in the ribs and he went rolling down on
the floor and everyone was laughing. he got up and he was all embarassed
and he was looking around going "huh...yeah" and derek's like "yeah"
and splashed a draft in his face.
derek: taught chris a lesson or two.
greig: i think you just got relish on the mike. (cory was eating a hot dog)
jesse: aren't you on chris murphy's record label? i'm not sure about this.
tara: chris murphy doesn't have a record label...
derek: yeah, it's on murderecords, but it's not chris murphy's label,
it's kinda an east coast collaboration.
cory: see, chris just wants to take credit for us because he wants to be
the brains behind us. hip club groove started murderecords, and everybody
who likes thrush hermit should thank us because the money that was made
off our album was what put out thrush hermit and we didn't get paid
nothing for our album. but that's cool cause they're a local band from
halifax who we would help anyway.
tara: and you guys are from out of town anyway.
cory: yeah, we're from out of town. we don't care, we have an abundance
of money, we just stash our money and buy little records and things.
marc: so...what do you think of mike?
tara: i love mike, i stayed at his house for a few weeks. he fed me, gave
me a couch to sleep on, he's an awesome guy.
drew: what are you saying?
marc: i'm saying we love mike.
tara: he let me play with chris murphy's bass.
marc: really? i pissed on that bass, when i was at his house.
derek: we pissed on murphy.
tara: yeah, derek, mackenzie the underdog, what do you think of chris
murphy, you think he's a bit of a show off?
derek: i pissed on him.
tara: all right, brian, a.k.a. dj moves, what do you think about chris
murphy?
brian: i kicked his ass once.
cory: where?? where? where did he get beat?
brian: it was in...
cory: mcmaster university and where else?
brian: i pissed on him. we kicked his funkin' ass.
cory: where was he beat?
brian: he stinks man. we f'ed him up.
derek: hey, hey, shut up, listen, listen, hey...(in a redneck voice)
"anybody can wrassle humans, calgary, anybody can wrassle humans."
**** an' that's it. man, i wish cory was still on sloan net. then he
could do all the slaggin online all the time.
check ya,
tara
"...Don't leave the house with the burners on,
Make sure you're never gone for too long..."
- Rebecca West
