"Excuse me, Sir."
"Is that you again, Moses?"
"I'm afraid it is, Sir."
"What is it this time, Moses; more computer
problems?"
"How did you guess?"
"I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember ?"
"Oh, yes; I forgot."
"Tell me what you want, Moses."
"But you already know, Sir. Remember?"
"Moses!"
"Sorry, Sir."
"Well, go ahead, Moses; spit it out."
"Well, I have a question, Sir. You know
those ten 'things' you sent me via e-mail?"
"You mean the Ten Commandments, Moses?"
"That's it. I was wondering if they are
important."
"What do you mean 'if they are important,'
Moses? Of course, they are important. Otherwise, I would not have
sent them to you."
"Well, sorry, Sir, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them; but, of
course, you would see right through that."
"What do you mean you 'lost them'? Are you trying
to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?"
"No, Sir; I forgot."
"You should always save, Moses."
"Yes, I know. You told me that before. I was going to save them, but
I forgot. I did forward them to some people before I lost them though."
"And did you hear back from any of them?"
"You already know I did. There was the
one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not.' May he change the words a
little bit?"
"Yes, Moses, as long as he does not change
the meaning."
"And what about the guy who thought your
stance was a little harsh, and recommended calling them the 'Ten Suggestions,'
or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?"
"Moses, I will act as if I did not hear
that."
"I think that means 'no.' Well, what
about the guy who said I was scamming him?"
"I think the term is 'spamming,' Moses."
"Oh, yes. I e-mailed him back and told
him I don't even eat that stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to
someone through a computer."
"And what did he say?"
"You know what he said. He used Your
name in vain. You don't think he might have sent me one of those -- err --
plagues, and that's the reason I lost those ten 'things', do you?"
"They are not plagues; they are called
'viruses,' Moses."
"Whatever! This computer stuff is just
too much for me. Can we go back to those stone tablets? It was hard
on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but at least I never lost
them."
"We will do it the new way, Moses; using computers!!"
"I was afraid you would say that, Sir."
"Moses, what did I tell you to do if you
messed up?"
"You told me to hold up this rat and point it
toward the computer."
"It's a mouse, Moses, not a rat. Mouse!
Mouse! And did you do that?"
"No, I decided to try calling technical
support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you? And I
really like your hours. By the way, Sir, did Noah have two of these mice
on the ark?"
"No, Moses."
"One other thing. Why did you not name
them 'frogs' instead of 'mice,' because did you not tell me the thing they sit
on is a pad?"
"I did not name them, Moses. Man
did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to."
"Oh, that explains it. I bet some woman
told Adam to call it a mouse. After all, was it not a woman who named one
of the computers 'Apple?'"
"Say good night, Moses."
"Wait a minute, Sir. I am pointing the
mouse, and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten 'things' have
come back."
"Which ones are they, Moses?"
"Let me see. 'Thou shalt not steal
from any grave an image' and 'Thou shalt not uncover Thy neighbor's
wife.'"
"Turn the computer
off, Moses. I'm sending you another set on stone tablets."