>The new Unsubscribe System mandates that each person who wishes to >unsubscribe from a list fill out form BS-183-L in hard copy. The >notarized triplicate form is then mailed via registered snail mail to >the Internet Unsubscription Bureau in Tuscola, Illinois. > >Upon receipt of the properly completed form, the IUB then prepares a >Petition for Unsubscription, which is mailed to the Internet >Unsubscription Profiling Center in Ludwig, Florida, which in turn >conducts a thorough personal investigation of the Candidate. > >This usually takes 6 to 8 weeks, unless there's a recount. > >Cost of this investigation is usually around $300 to $500, and must >be born by Petitioner. Payment must be made by bank transfer to the >Internet Fee Processing Center in Detroit, Michigan. All payments >must be made in cash or cashier's checks; personal checks or credit >cards cannot be accepted. > >Upon approval, Petitioner will be called before one of three hearing >boards, located for your convenience in one of three regional >locations throughout the country: Nome, Alaska; Hilo, Hawaii, or Key >West, Florida. (Hearings held in Florida are often subject to many >lengthy delays and appeals, however, so be forewarned.) Personal >attendance at these hearings is mandatory, and participation by >counsel is strongly advised. Please bring all evidentiary materials >to this hearing with you, as incomplete or unsubstantiated >presentations are treated with a presumption of unworthiness, and >your case will be summarily rejected. > >At the hearing, a federal magistrate will hear your evidence and make >a decision as to whether or not to proceed with the hearing. A >successful petitioner will then be granted a court date, usually >within the following year. > >Petitioner may expect a rigorous cross-examination by representatives >of the list-owner and should be prepared to answer searching and >potentially embarrassing questions, such as: > >"If you could manage to scrape enough brain cells together to >subscribe to the list, what happened to your brain when you decided >to unsubscribe?" > >"Are you a complete hoser, or what?" > >"Did you damage your brain by inhaling too many lacquer fumes?" > >"What, are you a complete dipstick?" > >"Are you passing a brain stone or sumpin'? > >Petitioner may then be unsubscribed. > >Unless something goes wrong, of course....
[>>Charles<<] ________________________________ Changes to your subscription (unsubs, nomail, digest) can be made by going to http://sandboxmail.net/mailman/listinfo/sndbox_sandboxmail.net
