|
![]() |
Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Friday, October 10, 2003
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
|
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
In a strange form of protest against the new trends in
personal adornment, you will make mooing sounds whenever you see
someone with a nose ring. Coincidentally, some of them will say "Hay!"
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
This is a good time for you to start your on-line loan
shark business. Start small, though. Try to be sort of a "loan
piranha", at first.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will be accosted today by several of those people who
think only of themselves, and who believe that "sharing" is something
that little kids have to do. Despite this, I recommend against turning
them over your knee and spanking them -- unless you think you can get
away with it.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will sneak out tonight, with a box of navel oranges
under your arm, and grinning an evil toothy grin. When you wake up
tomorrow, you will remember nothing about it. That's just the way
these things work.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Happy Frog Day!! Let's hear it for our little amphibious
friends!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you will rescue several hostages from a
life-or-death situation, using only a banana milkshake and a length of
twine. Film at 11.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
The bad news is, you're competing for that new job with a
Hindu goddess. The good news is, if you think YOU have trouble
figuring out what to do with your hands during an interview...
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
It was a simple mistake, which anyone could have made.
What's more, now you know better. I think, though, that the _expression_
is too widespread for you to actually get it changed to "never look a
gift horse in either end."
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will feel tired and run-down today. This may possibly
be because of the marathon you ran yesterday, and the taxi that ran
into you near the finish line. Just a guess.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Good day to wear overalls and discuss bean farming with
retired people at a diner or family-style restaurant. Or at least,
that's a lot more fun than what you'd be doing otherwise.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
A package will arrive for you today, from a distant
relative in Tibet. Scarlet-robed assassins will begin following you.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Paper airplane day, today. Have as much fun as you can
stand -- tomorrow will be ugly.
|
The Daily Humorscope
Personal Humorscope
Subscriptions
Thanks for subscribing to the Daily Humorscope!
This prediction was generated exclusively for Charles Mims.
Please forward this Daily Humorscope to your friend Jim, and to all your
friends and relatives who you think would like it. You may do anything you like
with your Daily Humorscope, as long as you keep this notice intact, except
resell it. Please use the Daily Humorscope content service to add it to your web
page (coming soon).
To sign up for your own personalized Daily Humorscope, or to report problems,
please visit the subscription page.
To change your email options, click here.
Copyright 2003 by Humorscope.com, All Rights Reserved
|
