--- Begin Message --- Title: The Left Coast Report
THE LEFT COAST REPORT: A Political Look at Hollywood
By James Hirsen
October 14, 2003A NewsMax Report
Headlines (Scroll down for complete stories):
1. Dennis Miller Irks Elton John
2. Brown, Franken and Wolff Kick Rush When He's Down
3. Sly Stallone's "Demolition Man" Prophesy
4. "Kill Bill" Worth Nil
5. Robert Downey Jr.'s Got a Friend in Mel
6. Jay Leno's Gone G.O.P.?
7. Alec Baldwin's Biscuit Bobble
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1. Dennis Miller Irks Elton John
While performing at a benefit concert in Las Vegas, Elton John let loose with an Al Franken-like attack against Dennis Miller.
Prior to John's performance, Miller served the crowd a special heaping of his ultra-hip wry commentary. In between the humor, Miller urged that we do some drilling in ANWR to lessen our dependence on oil imports.
After singing "Tiny Dancer," John blamed the comedian-turned-Fox News commentator for the disdain that Kofi & company have toward the U.S.
"Americans are always asking why the rest of the world hates them," the wildly bespectacled entertainer explained. "Well, the reason is Dennis Miller."
Summing up Miller's performance, John added, "You've all gone mental if you liked that."
When asked about Elton's remarks, Miller calmly told the Las Vegas Sun, "Everyone is entitled to their opinion."
The Left Coast Report says "mental" must be in the political eye of the beholder.
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2. Brown, Franken and Wolff Kick Rush When He's Down
On the same day Rush Limbaugh let the world know about his addiction to prescription painkillers and road to rehab, how did CNN's Aaron Brown cover the story? With a smirk and a smack.
Brown trotted out two of the biggest Rush bashers around - New York magazine's media critic Michael Wolff and the unfunny Al Franken - to comment on the talk show host's problems.
After Brown acknowledged that he himself had a "permanent smirk" that seemed to be attached to his face, he got the anti-Rush party started.
Brown referred to Rush's statement as a "media strategy," labeling it "the Arnold defense."
Franken insisted that the strategy wouldn't work. He said that when Rush goes into rehab "he's got to work a 12-step program. Those programs are based on rigorous honesty. Then I don't think he'll have a show."
Franken continued with his barb, saying, "I don't think he can do a show based on rigorous honesty, frankly. He won't have anything to do."
The Dem operative in disguise piled on even higher, sneering that after listening to Rush and reading "enough books on him, that he is always -- he's a dishonest demagogue."
Wolff disagreed, sort of, and threw some jabs of his own. He said that "this is not about recovery. This is about maintaining a media empire" and described Rush as "an incredibly powerful and insidious force."
The Left Coast Report takes comfort in this trio's batting average. They're habitually wrong in their views and attitudes. This will be demonstrated once again when a better-than-ever Rush returns. And yes, Rush, you're in our prayers.
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3. Sly Stallone's "Demolition Man" Prophecy
Back in 1993, Sylvester Stallone starred in a flick called "Demolition Man." He played an ex-cop who awakens after being frozen for over three decades.
As the New York Post notes, there's a scene in the film that may someday turn out to be prophetic.
Sly's character is shown an L.A. of the future by a policewoman who is played by Sandra Bullock.
Bullock's character points out the "Schwarzenegger Presidential Library" and explains that even though the library's namesake "was not born in this country, his popularity at the time caused the 61st Amendment."
The Left Coast Report wonders - since Sen. Orrin Hatch has introduced a constitutional amendment allowing people who have been naturalized citizens for at least twenty years to be eligible for the presidency - is life planning on imitating art?
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4. "Kill Bill" Worth Nil
Word has it that, when it comes to distribution, Mel Gibson's film about the final hours in the life of Jesus Christ didn't particularly spark Disney's interest. On the other hand, "Kill Bill" is a flick that evidently did float the Mouse's Miramax boat.
Although the title of the movie conjures up images of the former first lady's rough draft of "Living History," that's not what the celluloid creation is all about.
It's been six years since "Kill Bill"'s writer/director Quentin Tarantino made a movie, and it's anybody's guess what the guy's been up to. But from the looks of his latest work, it's likely he's been OD'ing on martial-arts movies, gaping at Japanese cartoons and chowing down cartons of clichés.
Many of Hollywood's elites will no doubt hail the bloody spoof as "edgy" and "ground-breaking." But regular Joes and Janes may gain more entertainment and aesthetic satisfaction from watching a Freddy Krueger sequel.
Violence often plays a pivotal role in film. But, in this case, psychotic retribution is celebrated with a special delivery of decapitated heads, a balloon bouquet of severed limbs and a mega-keg of blood. It's enough to make Hannibal Lechter reach for the Pepto.
The film features "Pulp Fiction"'s Uma Thurman as a revenge-seeking martial arts hit-gal. In the movie, Thurman's character goes after former colleagues that she had worked with when she was part of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad (DiVAS) because they tried to kill her on her wedding day.
In order to get patrons to part with double their money, the original three-hour film is being released in two parts. This means that viewers will have to endure scenes that seem to go on forever because they've been stretched to fit a chubbier time slot.
Ironically, this film comes to us courtesy of the same town that can't seem to deliver a movie that deals with the most significant event of our times - September 11. The closest Tinseltown has come to bringing the story of the attack to the screen was the made for cable Showtime original "DC 9/11." It was written by longtime Hollywood insurgent Lionel Chetwynd.
While cinematic excursions that border on snuff flicks are often showered with awards in Hollywood, making a flick that deals with the war on terror is apparently comparable to trying to stuff a truthful peg into a politically correct hole.
"The only unorganized groups you can make as the enemy would be the U.S. government, the police, the FBI and corporate America," says Jack Valenti, head of the Motion Picture Association of America.
Chetwynd sees a problem in finding a P.C.-approved hero as well. "Who's going to be the hero?" Chetwynd asks. "The CIA? The government? Our government?"
The Left Coast Report sees the message to young filmmakers as - if you lack creativity, just use the mayhem modality along with profanity and you, too, will be called avant-garde.
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5. Robert Downey Jr.'s Got a Friend in Mel
Robert Downey Jr. was in the news recently. He got a part in a Woody Allen flick. But Woody later dumped Downey because of a lack of insurance.
That wasn't about to happen again, at least not in Downey's latest movie called "The Singing Detective."
Why not? The reason in a word - Mel.
Gibson appears with Downey in the film. I had the opportunity to meet Downey when I was visiting Gibson's offices. From their interaction, it was obvious that the two were good friends.
What I didn't know at the time was that Downey would never have appeared with Mel in "The Singing Detective" if, as Roger Friedman of Fox News has reported, Gibson hadn't put up the money for Downey's insurance bond.
Downey, whose dad is Jewish, is also one who actually saw "The Passion" and has given his assessment. He dismissed the so-called controversy over the film, saying, "'The Passion' is not anti-Semitic."
The Left Coast Report thinks, in the entertainment biz, it's interesting to contrast those who talk the happy talk with those who walk the friendship walk.
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6. Jay Leno's Gone G.O.P.?
Jay Leno was recently accused of engaging in some despicable behavior.
We're not talking about womanizing, substance abuse or metrosexuality.
No, the political and Hollywood elite are accusing the late-night comedy king of being a tool of President Bush, Governor-Elect Schwarzenegger and the Republicans.
Schwarzenegger made his now famous announcement of his intention to run for governor of California on the "Tonight Show." And Leno introduced the Governator at his election night victory speech.
A columnist for the lefty L.A. Weekly referred to Leno as a "political pawn" of Arnold. The paper also accused Leno of being too light on the Bush jokes after September 11.
Apparently, Leno's spokesperson is aware that, in Hollywood, being called sympathetic to Republicans requires that you engage in some damage control.
Leno spokesman Bruce Bobbins told the New York Daily News that Leno "never had Arnold on during the campaign" and even "booked [defeated Governor] Gray Davis as a guest."
Bobbins explained that Leno and Arnold are "just longtime friends."
The Left Coast Report asks, Isn't that the same thing Britney said about Madonna?
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7. Alec Baldwin's Biscuit Bobble
Alec Baldwin recently dropped by Texas to attend a fundraiser for congressional Democrats. He ungraciously brought some crass partisan theatrics along with him.
Holding up a box of dog biscuits, Baldwin had this to say about Texas Governor Rick Perry: "I wanted to give this to Tom DeLay's lap dog, Rick Perry."
The rude Hollywood dude continued, saying, "I thought maybe he had worked up a big appetite up there on the Capitol so Governor Perry, AKA Tom DeLay's lap dog in the Texas state Legislature, this box of dog biscuits is for you and I hope you enjoy it while you're toiling away at a redistricting plan."
Despite having put on the dog, Baldwin basically accomplished zip. The six-month battle of the Texas Legislature ended Sunday when the state senate passed a congressional redistricting plan.
Governor Perry will undoubtedly sign the bill into law, which will give the Republicans a majority in the Texas congressional delegation.
Baldwin didn't limit his Texas tirade to the redistricting topic. He whined about the California recall, Arnold Schwarzenegger and George Bush, too.
About the president, Baldwin blabbered, "Everything that Bush touches turns to manure in public policy."
The Left Coast Report notes that Baldwin's mention was the same stuff Texans had to shovel out of the room after he left.
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The Left Coast Report is compiled by James L. Hirsen and the staff of NewsMax. You can read past Left Coast Reports from the archives - Click Here Now.
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