AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
-------Original Message-------
Date: Sunday, October 19, 2003 05:22:44 AM
Subject: [Sndbox] Daily Humorscope for Sunday, October 19, 2003
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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Sunday, October 19, 2003
"Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done." -- Fred Allen |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
This may be a good time to take up squid farming. Provided that you can figure out what type of hat to wear, that is.
Today you will read a bit of Shakespeare, and just before you fall asleep, you will think: "A duck, by any other name, would smell as foul." Never mix Shakespeare and chocolate icecream. The results can be a trifle unpredictable.
Today will be a great day for bargains. For example, you'll find a really amazing price on a flame-thrower, at the Army surplus store. A flame-thrower is one of those rare things that really creates a lasting first impression -- so you should definitely get it.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will discover a small flaw in your character. Meditation and Ginseng tea might clear it up. Or if not that, then a few gallons of cheap wine and an adventure involving a cart filled with garbage, some gold coins, and a goat.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
If you've been wanting to become a religious leader, today is the day to get cracking on it. Otherwise, probably an uneventful day.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Someone named "Bob" is plotting to whap you with a calla lilly. If you carry long-stemmed carnations around with you today, you will be able to retaliate swiftly and effectively.
Today's a good day for original thinking and bursts of creativity. Also, not a good day to wear flammable clothing.
You will be driven into a panic today by the thought that you will live to see music by Oingo Boingo referred to as "classic" rock. Believe me, that's not nearly as strange as clothing trends will be, such as the "big elbow" look.
People will stare at you today. Unknown to you, you are starting to look more and more like a large frog. A career in basketball may be in your future.
Excellent day to study gastroenterology, or possibly to go bowling.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Watch out for vines, today. Sometime's it's hard to tell the difference between a vine and a creeper, until it's too late. | [>>Charles<<]
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