That
first one I heard George Carlin do.
10 Things That Piss Me
Off:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I
know where my watch is, buddy...where the hell is yours? Do I point
at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??
2. People in the
supermarket check out line who wait until their entire bill is rung
up before they begin writing their check. Hello...is the store name
going to change, or the date, or your signature before the clerk
finishes? Get a clue!
3. People who are willing to get off their ass
to search the entire room for the damn TV remote because they refuse to
walk to the TV and change it manually!
4. When people say..."Oh, you
just want to have your cake and eat it, too." Screw that!!! What good is
a damn piece of cake if you can't eat it? What should I do...eat someone
else's piece of cake instead.
5. When people say..."It's always the
last place you look." No shit!! Why the hell would you keep looking for
it after you've already found it?? Do people do this?? Who and where are
they??
6. When people say, while watching a movie .."Did you see
that?" No, dumb ass, I paid $7.50 to come to a theater and stare at
the ceiling up there. What did you come here for??.
7. People who
ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there,
did ya buddy?
8. When something is "New & Improved," Which is
it? If it's new, there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement then there must have been something before it!
9. When a
cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going. "You
should know, asshole. You're the one that pulled me over!"
Here's
the 10TH thing that really bugs me....
10. Chain letters! Who the
hell thinks that by annoying other people with stupid mail with no
meaning, that they will grant you a wish, or make your long-lost love fall
into your arms. Bullshit! I'm so sure that by breaking a stupid chain
letter that the computer gods are going to curse me!! What a crock of
shit!!!
By the way, if you send this to 10 people, shit won't
happen, and that person you're in love with won't come crawling to you...so
if you feel this is funny, go on and send it to some one else, but don't
expect one damn thing in return!
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