NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN:
D A M M I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
St. M O M'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six
hours.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Highly effective suppository that eliminates
melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups,
swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting skills.
D U M E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of Country Western music.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent antibiotic for women. Increases resistance to
such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person .. can we get naked now?"
B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength
BUY-ONE-ALL
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an
indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may
even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
anyone too eager to share their life stories with
total strangers.
S E X C E D R I N
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not
now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
R A G A M E T
When administered to a husband or boyfriend, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the woman the time and trouble of doing it herself.
D A M M I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
St. M O M'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six
hours.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Highly effective suppository that eliminates
melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups,
swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting skills.
D U M E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of Country Western music.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent antibiotic for women. Increases resistance to
such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person .. can we get naked now?"
B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength
BUY-ONE-ALL
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an
indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may
even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
anyone too eager to share their life stories with
total strangers.
S E X C E D R I N
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not
now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
R A G A M E T
When administered to a husband or boyfriend, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the woman the time and trouble of doing it herself.
Charles Mims
________________________________
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