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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Sunday, November 23, 2003
If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are
headed. |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
As a joke, you will put a remote controlled monster under
someone's bed. That will be really funny, although perhaps not quite
as funny as when they put a real monster under yours.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will meet Klive Dinky, the proprietor of
Klive Dinky's Tropical Dream Vacation, and Spa Salon. He will
turn out to be much shorter than you ever imagined.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Tomorrow when you wake up, many small objects on the
carpet will bring you to the alarming conclusion that you have a live
rabbit in the house. Search though you may, however, you will be
completely unable to find hide nor hare of it...
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
It's about time you became better acquainted with mustard.
Get yourself 7 different kinds of mustard, and try them with oven
baked home fried potatoes, or in sandwiches with good bread and fresh
vegetables and some excellent Swiss cheese. My granddaddy Stonebender
always used to say "Take a big enough bite of strong mustard, and your
other problems will seem insignificant."
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Rhubarb pie is the only antidote for your ailment. Trust
me on this one. Also, someone's been teasing your cat.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will finally figure out what the problem is, with your
car! Basically, it has developed a sense of humor.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Good time to compliment your friends. If you can't think
of anything else to say, tell them they're looking "very buff." That
will leave them pleased, but slightly uneasy, and they'll spend a lot
of time looking in the mirror.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will begin to have nagging doubts about your
feet.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will believe a completely rediculous hoax about a
computer virus today, and everyone will tease you mercilessly.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will go into business making those little sugar
packets that restaurants use, and make a fortune. The restaurants will
have to use fewer of yours than anyone elses. Is it due to the
pictures on the packets, of really fat people? Who knows.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Good day to begin that toothpick sculpture you've been
thinking of. Of course, where you're actually going to put a
life-sized toothpick sculpture of a rhinocerous is another matter.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today assa a joke, you willa make fun ofa how somebody
talk. You willa get beata up.
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