Things to ponder
Why does the Resource Meter
on my computer tell me that
'like any program,
the Resource Meter
uses
system resources while it
is
running' and 'this may cause
your computer to run more slowly'?
Isn't the whole reason I opened
the Resource Meter to
check
that I'm NOT using
too much of the system
resources?
-
If you owe a lot of money
-
If you owe a lot of money
to many people then if
someone steals your identify,
would that be a good
thing?
-
Why is it that you never
-
Why is it that you never
see a wheelchair parked
in a wheelchair only
stall
in a parking lot?
-
How come car keys are
-
How come car keys are
the only keys with
teeth on both
sides?
-
If there is a pot of gold at
-
If there is a pot of gold at
'the end' of the rainbow,
which end is the end?
And which is the beginning?
The FDA
Have you heard about the pharmaceutical
Have you heard about the pharmaceutical
company that developed a new
drug
which, when administered
to women, compels them
to women, compels them
to go join a convent?
The FDA refused to license it.
The FDA refused to license it.
Seems it was habit forming.
A woman is walking down the street
carrying a small box
with holes punched in the top.
"What's in that box?" a neighbor asks.
"A big cat," the woman says.
"What for?"
"I've been dreaming about mice at night,
with holes punched in the top.
"What's in that box?" a neighbor asks.
"A big cat," the woman says.
"What for?"
"I've been dreaming about mice at night,
and I'm scared.
The cat is to catch them."
"But the mice you dream about are imaginary
The cat is to catch them."
"But the mice you dream about are imaginary
" her neighbor says.
The woman turns to her friend and whispers,
"So is the cat. Do you think
The woman turns to her friend and whispers,
"So is the cat. Do you think
I was silly enough to lug a
real cat around all day ?"
real cat around all day ?"
Most snakes have
either
only one lung,
or in some cases,
two,
with one much reduced in
size.
This apparently serves to
make room for other organs
in
the highly-elongated bodies
of snakes.
Bill Clinton,
Hillary Clinton, and
Al Gore were in an airplane that
crashed.
They're up in heaven, and God's
sitting on the great white
throne.
God addresses Al first.
"Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies,
God addresses Al first.
"Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies,
"Well, I believe I won that
election,
but that it was your
will that I did not serve.
And I've come to understand
that now."
God thinks for a second and says
God thinks for a second and says
"Okay, very good. Come
and sit at my left."
God then addresses Bill.
God then addresses Bill.
"Bill, what do you believe
in?"
Bill replies,
Bill replies,
"I believe in forgiveness. I've
sinned,
but I've never held a grudge
against my fellow man,
and I hope no grudges are
held against me."
God thinks for a second and says
God thinks for a second and says
"You are forgiven, my son.
Come and sit at my right."
God then address Hillary.
God then address Hillary.
"Hillary, what do you believe
in?"
Hillary replies,
"I believe you're in my chair."
Hillary replies,
"I believe you're in my chair."
Pharmacist
A lady walks into a drug store and
A lady walks into a drug store and
tells the pharmacist she
needs some
cyanide. The pharmacist said,
cyanide. The pharmacist said,
"Why in the world do you need
cyanide?"
The lady then explained she
The lady then explained she
needed it to poison her husband.
The
pharmacist's eyes got big and he said,
pharmacist's eyes got big and he said,
"Lord have mercy, I can't give you
cyanide to kill your husband! That's
cyanide to kill your husband! That's
against the law! They'll throw both
of
us in jail and I'll lose my license."
The lady reached into her purse and
us in jail and I'll lose my license."
The lady reached into her purse and
pulled out a picture of her husband
in
bed with the pharmacist's wife
bed with the pharmacist's wife
and handed it to the
pharmacist.
The pharmacist looked at the picture
The pharmacist looked at the picture
and replied,
" Well now, you didn't
tell me you had a prescription."
tell me you had a prescription."
Charles Mims
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